


Coming Undone

by Emerald_Ashes



Series: Coming Undone [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Blood and Torture, Descriptions of violence and torture, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lance is hurting a lot, Lion Bonds, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:34:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8277871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald_Ashes/pseuds/Emerald_Ashes
Summary: A mission quickly transforms into an ambush. Outnumbered, and without the immediate assistance of their Lions, the paladins retreat. However, Lance is captured. And when he is eventually rescued, the circumstances of his capture raise more questions than answers. Things only continue to get worse as Lance now has to deal with the aftermath of being prisoner to the Galra, and they try to figure out why the trap was staged in the first place.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There will be NO sexual content in this story. Just a warning that this story will have violence, and this first chapter has depictions of blood and torture. I don't think its anything too severe, or overly gory, but it is there. So I suppose tread carefully.

Lance had never run so fast in all of his life. His lungs were ready to burst, and his legs felt like molten lava was coursing through his bloodstream. But he couldn’t stop. Lance and Keith were racing through a canyon, with their shields held at their back as they were chased by a platoon of Galra soldiers.

Their day had started off simply, well simple for the people who were destined to defend the universe.  They were summoned to a nearby planet called Rathomire by a distress beacon that had been set off. The castle’s data logs didn’t have much information about the planet, which should have been their first clue it was not going to be a routine mission.

Upon landing on the surface the Paladins soon discovered that the natives of the world had become extinct, or at best, abandoned their world. There was no sentient life. Only dilapidated buildings, vegetation of the dense rainforest, and the sand that lined the canyons were what remained.

As they explored the ruins of the civilization, Galra soldiers poured out of the undergrowth of the forest like hornets swarming out of a disturbed hive. It became painfully clear in an instant that the Galra had set off the distress call to lure the Paladins to the planet. It was an ambush.

Shiro shouted for them to retreat, and they scattered backwards in the opposite direction. They were met with a forked path, and in order to thin out their enemies in pursuit, they decided to take separate paths. Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro went right to circle back to the lions. Keith and Lance went left leading out into the rocky canyons.

Now they were running, nope this was definitely a sprint. They were sprinting for their lives.

“I hate this!” Lance exclaimed as a shot whizzed past his ear. He flinched and almost tripped over his own feet.

Keith caught the stumble from the corner of his eye. “Keep going,” Keith called back to him. He was just a few paces ahead of Lance. They wouldn’t be able to keep up this speed for much longer.

They couldn’t even call for back up to Coran and Allura, who were currently orbiting the planet in the castle-ship. The Galra had somehow managed to jam all their communications, even between each other on their comms, which Pidge had picked up on when they arrived. That should have been clue number two.

“The canyon’s gonna collapse on us if we don’t get out of here,” Lance had been watching the rocks crumble with each blast that ricocheted off their shields.

“I can see that,” Keith responded in an irritated huff.

Lance activated his bayard and returned fire. Maybe not the smartest idea, but he managed to hit a robot solider directly in the head. Yet that only seemed to aggravate their pursuers more.

“Crap!” he shrieked.

The fire barrage increased. Lance heard Keith scream as a blast grazed his shoulder. The walls of the canyon seemed to tremble from the added sound, and the larger rocks started to crash to the ground.

Their time was up.

It was clear they only had seconds before the rocks slid down and blocked their exit, or buried them. Lance could see blood starting to stain the sleeve of Keith’s armor, which obviously saved him from a more severe injury. He had to make a decision now.

 Keith made eye contact with Lance, and his face fell. “No, I can see what you’re thinking.”

“You know me, Keith. I’m not thinking anything,” Lance smiled like he knew exactly what he was doing, but he knew he was going to regret his next move.

Without waiting for Keith to say another word, Lance activated his bayard once more, and aimed at a weak point on the rocks. Almost instantly a landslide began. Boulders cascaded down from up high in the canyon, but they were directionless. Lance couldn’t anticipate the way they would fall, and they were sliding down much too close to them.  

“Lance!” Keith yelled. And Lance wasn’t sure if it was because he was angry or afraid of being crushed under the tons of rocks barreling toward them. Or perhaps it was both.

“Just run, Kei-!” but he choked on the words, as a scream bubbled up from his throat. Lance faltered in his run, and his leg was searing in pain and unable to bear his weight. Lance stumbled forward and fell hard into Keith’s back. The momentum of his fall propelled Keith forward with enough force that he vanished behind the rocks that piled up before him an instant later.

“Lance!” Keith’s voice reverberated off the canyon’s walls. “You idiot!”

“Go find the others,” Lance replied, and looked up at the soldiers that surrounded him at gun point. He couldn’t draw his bayard now. Well, he could, but that was like inviting death to dinner. Not really advisable.

“We’ll rescue you, Lance. Just…just hold on,” Keith sounded desperate. Once his echo died down, Lance was left alone.

Except not exactly alone. Lance was completely encircled.  There were at least fifteen robot soldiers in front of him. But one flesh and blood Galra pushed to the front. Probably the commander of the ambush, and he looked both aggravated and pleased. The Galra Commander wordlessly pointed at Lance, gesturing for the soldiers to retrieve him.

The robots crept closer, and then wrapped their hands around his biceps like a vice. They tried to drag him away through the dirt, and Lance struggled with all his might.  A bolt of pain shot across the base of his skull, and his vision darkened before he could register what hit him.

Time seemed to slow.  His thoughts were scrambled. He knew something bad was happening, could feel it roiling in his gut. The instinct to run was kicking at the back of his mind. The details as to why were hazy at the moment though.

When his consciousness came drifting back, it wasn’t from a normal sleep. Lance could tell that much. His arms ached all the way to his wrists. He felt like he was floating, but also immensely heavy, mixed with little numbness. The worst of the pain was coming from his thigh. Okay, no. It was a white-hot pain like he'd been shot.   
  
Shot. Oh. _Oh_. Right. He had been shot. By the Galra ambush party. Now he was afraid to open his eyes because he was certain he was not on the castle-ship. The air smelled like dirt, and maybe a little like blood. Unless he was just imagining that part. Although, he was probably bleeding if he had been shot, right?  
  
Lance cracked one eye open, which was instantly a mistake. He was being watched. Might as well see what was going on then. He opened both eyes to take in his surroundings. He certainly didn't like what he saw.   
  
There were shackles around his wrists connected to a chain, which stretched his arms above his head. The chain was pinned into the rock wall off to the side. It pulled him off the ground so that the toes of his boots barely touched the dirt floor beneath him.    
  
"The prisoner is awake," one of the soldiers commented, monotonously.  
  
Lance put on his best brave face, knowing he currently had the attention of the room. The space was small. It was made of stone, and clearly not on a high tech ship. Holes in the wall let in very little natural light. It looked like he had been dragged into the stone shacks that were in the ruins of the abandoned city. Why didn't they just drag him to their ship and fly away? Wouldn't that have been easier?

Lance was distracted from his thoughts as the Commander entered the room. The two soldiers step back and bow their heads as he passed them.

“So you’re the brains behind this operation?” Lance laughed, knowing he should just keep his mouth shut. “I gotta say, I’m not impressed.”  
  
"You would be wise to respect me," the Commander snapped.  
  
"Or what, you'll kill me?" Shut up. _Shut up_! He was not definitely not helping his situation.   
  
Surprisingly, the Commander smiled. It looked wicked as he revealed his sharp teeth. "To kill you immediately would not be very enjoyable.”  
  
The Commander motioned to Lance with a snap of his fingers and the two soldiers stepped forward. They started to strip him of his armor.  Lance tried to pull away. He didn’t want them touching him. But they just gripped him harder so that he couldn’t move. His chest plate was unbuckled and came off first, then the arm guards. He grimaced as they removed the armor around his legs, and hit the wound that was still sluggishly bleeding.  It was only a few moments until he was exposed in only the coverall beneath his armor. He didn’t say anything, smart enough to know that if he did, it would have just provoked them further when they were so close to his body.

When they finished he released the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding in.

“I wanted the Red Paladin,” the Commander’s unsettling smile was back on his face. It made Lance want to punch him. “He seemed as though he would be a fascinating subject. Or even the Champion, I saw him fight in the arena once. It was quite… entertaining. But let us see how you fare." 

“My team will come for me,” Lance said trying to stall from…from whatever they had in store for him. “They’ll find you too. You should have run when you had the chance.”

“They may come for you. That is if they even care that you’re gone,” his hand came up around Lance’s throat, claws just barely touching his skin. “But they will not find me, and without them you will not escape here on your own.”

A shiver ran down his spine at the Commander’s words. It did not sound promising for Lance. The Commander pulled his hand away, claws trailing down his the side of his neck. Lance jerked away, but the skin had already been broken. The warm blood trailed down his throat.

“We want something from you, Paladin,” the Commander stepped to the side, and a cloaked figure seemed to melt out from the shadow that was cast in the darkening room.  They wore a mask, and in their hand was a silver knife. It looked almost surgical.

“We do not have much time together, unfortunately,” the Commander spoke, and turned to speak to the cloaked person.  “Let us begin, druid.”

Lance watched the steel of the blade. He did not like where this was going. Was he going to be killed in this little room like an animal in a slaughter house?

“Begin what?” Lance choked out, stupidly. He was terrified, and blurted out the first thought that came to mind.

The cloaked figure, the druid, glided forward and held the blade just above Lance’s heart. The sharp tip poked at his skin, but this time his question was not answered with words. The Commander replied only with a sneer, and a glint of amusement sparkled in his yellow eyes.

The druid pulled the knife down, and cut away a patch into his suit. Not taking care, they also made shallow cuts into his flesh. The dagger passed over his skin again, deeper this time. The pain was instant as the blade tore through the muscle. Blood welled up and soaked into his black coverall.

It hurt, of course, but Lance did not scream. Instead he bit at his lip to keep from giving them the satisfaction. But the blade continued to pull across his skin.

“If you want it to stop then all you have to do is tell me where the lions are. You’ll get to go free,” said the Commander, but Lance could no longer see him. Another cut made its way over his stomach.

“I won’t betray them,” Lance hissed through gritted teeth. A quick slash went down his arm.

The Commander laughed, “Even at the cost of your own life? You do want to survive, correct?”

“Eat me, you hairball!” Lance spat, and was reprimanded with deep nick across his cheek.

The Commander was not pleased with Lance’s name-calling, and growled. “Very well! You had your chance. We will have to be more forceful now.”

The knife continued to trail across his skin. There was no order to the cuts, other than it was causing him immeasurable agony. Each open wound stung, and was a constant burn on his skin. He wanted to pass out, he didn’t want to see this anymore, as his skin was mutilated at the hands of his enemy.

One of the robot soldiers returned to the room, and handed something over to the Commander. Lance could not see what it was.

Then suddenly, the druid’s hands sparked with purple electricity…or maybe it was actually witch magic. Either way it looked dangerous. The Commander handed the druid the item he was delivered. It lit up like a torch, and looked equally as hot, glowing purple with sparking energy. Without any warning the druid pressed it to the exposed skin on Lance’s chest, right over his heart.

It felt like he was being burned alive. His back arched, and he tried to pull back away from it, swinging his body from the chains that held him up. But the two soldiers surged forward and held him in place.

A supernova was exploding in his body. The pain was so intense, he had never experienced anything like it before. Not even when he actually had been blown up. It was like he was being ripped apart.

He screamed until his voice cracked, and then gave out completely. Tears streamed down his face, mixing with the blood of his cuts. And just when he thought it was over, actual lightning did hit him. The air in his lungs seemed to evaporate instantly. He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t see. His hold on consciousness was slipping away like a fade-to-black scene at the end of an old movie.

The druid’s cold voice reached his ears. It was a merely a faint whisper to his numb mind, but left him with a chill that spread through his veins.

“The fall of Voltron will begin with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is intended to be a multi-chapter fic. I rewrote this first chapter at least five times before I was mostly satisfied with it. I'm really hoping Lance doesn't seem too out of character. That poor kid can't catch a break, and I'm not making things any easier for him. You shouldn't have to wait too long for the next chapter. I'm pretty eager to write it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. Criticism is welcome, and kudos/comments are always greatly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

There was blood in the sand.

Lance fixated on the dark red color dripping onto the ground. For whatever unfair reason, he did not remain unconscious. When he first blinked back to reality, he was thankfully alone.  He thought people with concussions were hard to wake up again, and his splitting headache convinced him he definitely had one.

He tried to recount what had happened so far. But faces blurred together in spinning memories that almost made him sick. He couldn’t tell up from down, really. And he was trying to ignore the vortex of pain that he was being wrapped up in.

It was hard to tell just how long he had been hanging there. The light was almost gone from the room, leaving him in a dusky twilight. But he could still see the dark drips of blood falling off him like rain drops from a shower that hadn’t quite decided to turn into a downpour yet. He had a feeling he should be more alarmed by what he saw, but his mind felt numb and slow. It was too much effort to think about it.

Lance thought he could hear something happening. There was a sound of metal clashing together, but it also could have just been the constant ringing in his ears. It was the type of ring when you’re just on the edge of passing out, but your body hasn’t decided to give up the fight for consciousness yet. It was annoying.

Then his fuzzy brain was starting to hear things a little more clearly.  Maybe he was hallucinating? Because he heard someone praying. Lance certainly wasn’t, but he heard the word “god” being repeated over again.

“Oh my god, oh god, oh god. No, no, no.”

Something bright purple suddenly streaked into his line of vision. Something obviously Galra. Lance flinched, whipped his head up, frantic to get away from the threat. A strangled sound of distress passed his lips; he sounded like a dying animal. _Great._

The Galra…thing disappeared almost instantly. Then it was replaced with bright white and yellow.

Those were good colors.

Lance focused on them for a moment. He knew this color well. It meant warmth and happiness. Safety. _Friends_.

He looked up tiredly, it was an effort just to move his eyes after the outburst he just exerted over his body. His gaze finally met the worried expression of Hunk. Sweet, wonderful Hunk.

“Lance, oh thank god,” Hunk sighed in relief. “W-we couldn’t get your attention. You were just staring at the ground. I thought you were de—“ he paused, and released a shaky breath. “Never mind. We’re here to rescue you.”

“We?” Lance asked, his voice sounded like a metal rake being dragged across a gravel driveway. Not very pleasant.

“Shiro is here too,” Hunk gestured to his right, and Lance found Shiro. His face a mix of pain, anger, and worry. It looked weird on him. But his features softened as Lance made eye contact with him.

“He tried to get you down, but you, uh, freaked out a bit,” Hunk told him.

 _Oh._ Shiro’s arm was the Galra thing he had seen.

Shiro stepped forward, hands hovering in the air, but not yet touching anything. “Lance, I need to break these chains. You understand, right? Then I promise we’ll go home.”

Lance managed to hum an affirmative. Shiro activated his arm. The purple glow emitted throughout the room again. Lance wanted to recoil, but he looked at Hunk instead. Lance knew it wasn’t Shiro’s fault, he wasn’t trying to scare him on purpose.

“Hunk is going to hold you in his arms while I do this,” Shiro explained. Lance didn’t really want anyone touching him. There wasn’t a place on his body at the moment that didn’t throb painfully in time with his heartbeat.

They didn’t really give him a chance to reply though. Hunk took Lance’s weight into his arms, gently placing an arm under his knees, and another by his shoulder blades. It alleviated the pressure on his wrists, but the movement caused him to cry out. 

The simplest movement was excruciating. Lance felt like his body had been twisted with a hot poker, and wrung out.

 _Because you were stupid enough to get caught_ , the thought flashed through his mind.

“Sorry, buddy,” Hunk murmured.

“Just another minute,” Shiro reassured him.

Shiro grasped the shackles in his hand and they easily snapped to pieces. Without the chain holding him, Lance’s arms fell limply to his sides. It was painful to say the least. His arms had been wrenched above his head for so long, now that he was free the ache in his shoulders was too intense. They were probably dislocated. Then the pins and needles feeling of sleeping, bloodless limbs overwhelmed him.

Lance couldn’t help it. He started to cry, trying to find an outlet for the pain to leave his body.

“It’s going to be okay, Lance,” Hunk cradled Lance closer to his chest, trying to provide some comfort.

There was a shuffling sound, and Shiro spoke up again. “I have his armor and bayard. Let’s get him back to the lions. He needs a cryopod immediately.”

The mention of the lions got Lance’s attention. “Blue okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, Lance,” Hunk answered. “All the lions are safe. But you’re riding with me this time. Blue is already up in the castle with Keith and Pidge.”

“Communications are still out,” Shiro was speaking to Hunk again. “You take off first, and I’ll be right behind you. I think we’re clear at this point, but don’t stop for anything.”

“Got it.”

Hunk began to move, and carried Lance out of the stone shack. The slight swaying motion of Hunk’s stride, even though Hunk was consciously being careful of how he handled Lance, caused shockwaves of discomfort over his body. The movement also caused an unfortunate amount of dizziness and nausea to take over his senses. Lance tried to quell it by focusing on other things around him.

He watched as they approached the yellow and black lions which sat in the center of the ruined city.  He noted a few gutted and decapitated robot soldiers were on the ground as Hunk proceeded up to the ramp that would lead to Yellow’s cockpit.

Once inside the cabin, Hunk proceeded to place Lance on the bunk that was just behind the cockpit. Lance whined a bit at the absence of Hunk’s warmth. Without his human heater, a chill spread over Lance.

When Hunk stood up again, there were red streaks across the white of his armor. That had come from Lance. He was still bleeding. That would definitely explain the dizziness. Blood loss.

“Sorry,” Lance whispered.

“What?” Hunk followed where Lance’s gaze was. He saw the blood, and paled. “O-oh, that. It’s’ not your fault. We’ll get you fixed up at the castle.”

Lance managed to curl his hand into a weak thumbs-up, and Hunk gave him the briefest of smiles. He pulled down a blanket from a storage space above the bed, and wrapped it around Lance while muttering something about “preventing shock”.  Lance really did hate to see him so worried, especially when this time he was the cause of it.

 _All because you were too slow. You jeopardized everything because you got shot and tripped_ , another stray thought popped into his mind. But he couldn’t deny that this was situation was his fault.

“I’m going to fly Yellow now. You just hang on, okay?” Hunk snapped Lance from his train of thought, and then rushed away to the controls.

Lance tried to shake away the feeling of dread creeping over him, and closed his eyes. It would all be better once he got back to the castle, and had a nice nap in a cryopod.  

He felt the familiar lurch of the lion as it took off from the ground. And Lance could feel his mind drifting slowly from the barely conscious state he had been in, and changing into a more solid, quiet darkness.

_Useless._

The word cut through the silence around him. It stung like holding ice in your bare hands. It echoed around him in a harsh whisper.

_Worthless._

_Weak._

_Slow._

_Stupid._

Each insult swirled around his body in tendrils of icy smoke. Encompassing, and smothering him.  He wanted them to just disappear. He knew he had screwed up. He didn’t need to be reminded.

_Insignificant._

_Waste of space._

_Unworthy pilot._

The last words faded into a hiss in the air. The smoke attempting to choke him in self-deprecation billowed away as light filtered across his eyelids. He gasped, feeling like there just wasn’t enough air getting into his lungs. Then only had time to blink once before his body toppled forward, as gravity dragged him unwillingly out of the cryopod.

Warm hands were quickly around his shoulders before he could kiss the floor. It took a moment to gain his bearings, still disoriented from both waking up out of the cryopod and the menacing…dream. It was just a dream.

Lance righted himself, standing up to be face to face with Hunk. He leaned heavily against his friend not fully trusting his legs yet.

“Hey, dude,” Hunk called to him. “You good?”

He nodded. “Uh, y-yeah. All good.”

No, no, actually he was not good. He felt entirely overwhelmed, and like he was on the brink of tears. He didn’t really want to burst like a broken pipe when all eyes were on him though.

He spotted Keith by the control panel next to Coran, and remembered that he had been shot too. “Keith, are you okay?” Lance was trying to use him as a distraction.

“Me? Yeah, I’m fine. It was just a graze. You’re the one we’re more concerned about.”

Okay, so Keith wasn’t going to help much. The spotlight was back on him again. “Um, how long was I out?”

“About thirty-six hours in the pod,” Shiro answered.

“What about before that? H-how long was I—“ he wanted to ask how long he was in the hands of the Galra, but couldn’t quite get the words out.

“You were…missing,” Shiro said, cautiously. “For about seven hours until we were able to find you.”

Seven hours. _Only_ seven hours? It had felt like days to him, but it was even less than one.

Lance looked down. He was still wearing his torn— no, his sliced up suit. He shivered as he imagined the blade that cut through it. He wrapped his arms around himself, and wiggled out of Hunk’s hold to sink down onto the steps by the pods. The truth of everything seemed to settle heavily in his chest; he had to remind himself to keep breathing.

Pidge padded over to him and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders. Then sat beside him, pressing her shoulder to his in a motion of reassurance.

“Lance,” Allura stood in front of him, hands clasped placidly in front of her. “Are you all right?”

He shrugged.

“Do you recall everything that happened up until now?” she asked, worry creasing her brow.

Allura waited patiently for him to speak. He took a shuddering breath. “I don’t…I don’t remember all of it.”

“Can you…” Allura started and then paused. She pursed her lips, seeming to think of how she wanted to phrase her question. “Can you tell us what they wanted from you?”

“The lions, I think. It’s kind of hazy. I don’t remember questions being asked exactly. They wanted information. And I don’t know if I said anything to them,” Lance closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. Why couldn’t he remember? He had the distinct impression that he had been interrogated, but the exact words of what was said wouldn’t come to him.

“I mean I wouldn’t say anything. That’s why….that’s why…my suit,” he couldn’t say it out loud. That he was pretty sure the dozens of slits in his coverall were because he was being obstinate. He was tortured because they wanted information, right?

Crap. He really didn’t want to do this with an audience. But it was too late. He felt his eyes water, and his lower lip trembled. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else happened. I can’t even see the face of whoever had me, it’s all blurry when I try.  I just remember the pain. They were hurting me. And I was hanging from the ceiling being cut into like a piece of meat. That’s it,” and then he broke down. He sobbed into his hands and apologized to his team. Who knows what he could have said just to appease the Galra and make it all stop.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry,” he didn’t know what else to say. There was nothing else he could say.

“Lance, that’s enough,” it was Shiro.

Shiro grabbed him by the shoulders, and Lance peeled his hands away from his face to find Shiro down on one knee. He expected a stern expression, but his face was soft, and sad. “You can’t blame yourself. None of this was your fault. It was a trap from the start. It could have been any of us that were caught, and I’m so very sorry that you were.”

It was a few minutes before he could even try to speak again.

“I really don’t know what they wanted. I blacked out at some point. And then you and Hunk showed up,” Lance sniffled. God, he was really a mess right now. “They didn’t even try to take me to their ships. It’s… it’s suspicious, right?”

He watched them as he asked that question. Evidently, they had all been thinking the same thing.

“We agree it was odd they didn’t try to take you off world,” Shiro said carefully. “But we think it was a ruse. You were no longer a threat to them while imprisoned. We believe their plan was to take the lions all along.”

“Yeah,” Pidge chimed in from beside him. “When we got back to the lions after separating, soldiers were there already. They almost had the green lion into one of their battleships.”

“Oh,” he said slowly. It made sense, but something still didn’t feel quite right about it all. Lance slumped against Hunk, who had followed him down to the steps. He was tired. Waking up from a cryopod induced sleep, and then sobbing uncontrollably really drained one’s energy.

“Still I’m…I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” Keith spoke up this time. “You don’t need to. Not for this.”

“All right, paladins,” Coran clapped his hands together to gain their attention. “I think we should stop there. Lance should get some rest. We can continue this conversation another time if he is feeling up to it.”

“Right, of course,” Shiro agreed, and patted Lance’s shoulder. “It’s midday, but you should go to bed.”

That was probably for the best. Lance couldn’t continue on this path for much longer. Hunk stood up and offered his hand down to Lance. He took it, and allowed himself to be pulled up from the floor.

“I’ll walk you to your room,” Hunk spoke quietly. Lance could see his eyes were a little watery too.

Little else was said. Lance left the infirmary with a small wave of his hand, and then Hunk ushered him out the door. He really wanted to sleep, but had a feeling it was not going to be as restful as wanted.

Hunk left him at his bedroom door when Lance said he would be fine the rest of the way. He stripped off the ruined coverall and threw it into a corner of the room. And without bothering to turn the lights on, he switched into pajamas.

Lance crawled into bed, and closed his eyes. He hoped the bad dreams would stay away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any grammar mistakes, please let me know. I read through this chapter like fifteen times, but I'm sure there's something I missed. Also I really hope the pacing doesn't seem to rushed. Just let me know what you guys think, please! 
> 
> This is actually a pretty quick update for me. And if things go well, you should see another one this weekend. Thanks for all the kudos, and comments so far. I really appreciate the feedback.


	3. Chapter 3

Lance was alone and cold. A rocky landscape sprawled before him, dismal and gray. His lion was sitting in front of him in a resting position back on her haunches. He stared up at her. As long as she was here, he was safe.

“Blue,” Lance called out to her, like so many times in her hangar. Usually her eyes would light up at the sound of his voice, but this time they didn’t. Apprehension twisted his stomach.  

A thick fog swirled around him, like the kind he had seen on chilled mornings rolling in from the ocean. This wasn’t right. His instincts were telling him it was dangerous.

“Blue!” He called again. Desperation creeping into his shout. Why wasn’t she responding? They needed to leave this place.

 _How foolish. You thought you could escape?_ a voice circled around him, a snake hiss in the darkness.

The fog rolled around his lion; it spread out over her body.  Eating away at her paint like acid, she started to slowly corrode. Rust ran up her limbs like a disease. Weakened, her metal frame soon collapsed in a deafening crash onto the rocky surface before Lance.  

_Voltron will fall_

Lance wanted to run, but he couldn’t move his feet. The fog changed direction and rolled in around his ankles, then the black smoke he had seen once before was back floating around him in wisps. It started to circle up his legs, spiraling up to his chest, and locking him into place like iron chains. When he blinked Blue was gone, and he was left alone, lost in the mist.

_Unworthy_

_Unimportant_

_Screw up_

_It’s all your fault_

_You messed up_

_A Failure_

The voice laughed bitterly. The black smoke seemed to pulse with each spoken word. A dark shadow was suddenly in front of him. The smoke had formed into a vaguely humanoid shape. _It’s all you because of you! Voltron will fall,_ an ink-black hand reached out, and he felt a piercing jab at his chest. Lance toppled backwards.

And then he was literally falling. Being swallowed up in an endless void that opened up around him, and a scream ripped from his throat. Just as swiftly his scream was cut short as his back slammed into a solid surface, the breath leaving his lungs in a whoosh of air.  Lance gasped, his eyes flying open. Panic made his heart stutter a staccato rhythm against his ribcage.

It took a moment to get his bearings. Slowly, he realized he had fallen out of bed; blankets twisted around his hips. The lingering feeling of the nightmare washed over him, making him shiver. He was drenched in a cold sweat. The whisper of “fall” echoed across his mind.

“Screw you creepy ghost thoughts!” He moaned miserably into his floor.

It was the second time he dreamt about the smoke, and the voice. That voice. It wasn’t his own. Definitely didn’t sound anything like him. Maybe he was possessed. Was that a thing the Galra could even do?

No, that was stupid. So, was it his subconscious? All of his insecurities coming to the forefront of his mind because of what he had just been through. Yeah, that sounded like a thing that could happen. As much as he just wanted to shake it off and pretend everything was fine. It just wasn’t going to happen. At least not tonight.

Another shiver crawled over his skin. His chest really ached where he had been jabbed in his nightmare. He rubbed a hand across it trying to ease the tension, then finally untangled himself from the web of blankets.

His clothes clung to him uncomfortably. He really needed a shower. He was…gross, to put it mildly.

Lance pushed himself up from the floor on wobbly arms. His legs were equally as shaky underneath him, but he managed to get upright. He grabbed a fresh set of pajamas out the drawers. The clock in his room told him he had slept through most of the day. It was nearly ten at night. Not super late, but it wasn’t early anymore either.

He walked over to the control panel, and punched the button that opened the door. Legs slightly steadier than when he left the cryopod, he left his room. He still felt weak though. Maybe he just needed something to eat. Low blood sugar, probably.

“I guess it has been a few days since I last ate,” he mused. Then frowned, he didn’t really want to think about that right now. Okay, moving on.

His room wasn’t far from the communal showers of the castle. He just needed to make it there and back. He could do that, right?  But the hallway felt longer than he remembered.  Lance still felt exhausted, but he really wanted the warmth of the shower. Then he’d go back to bed. Or he would at least try to.

He entered the bathroom, which was dark and completely empty. The lights flicked on automatically from the movement he created, and he walked over to the shower stall to get the water started. He tugged his shirt up over his head. Something odd caught his eye. He backed out of the stall to glance in the mirror across the room from him.

His blood felt like ice in his veins. This couldn’t be real. He…he had to be hallucinating or delirious. But when he brought his trembling hand up to touch his skin, it was still there.

Right over his heart was the symbol of the Galra Empire branded into skin. A pattern branched out from the mark, climbing up to his shoulder like the twisted limbs of dying tree.

It didn’t make any sense. He had been in the cryopod. He was supposed to be healed. So why? Why was it still there marring his chest with an angry red mark?

“Lance?” someone called him. He jumped, eyes flashing up to look behind him in the mirror, and saw Keith standing nearby. “I didn’t expect to see you up. Are you all right?” Keith eyed him warily.

No, far from it. Nothing about this was all right.  “U-um—“ Lance couldn’t form words, completely dumbstruck.  He fumbled to grab his shirt and pull it back on. He didn’t want Keith to see. But his fingers ached from the white-knuckled grip he had on the countertop, making him clumsy.

“Lance, what’s wrong?” Keith couldn’t see Lance’s chest from where he was standing in the bathroom.

Lance didn’t answer. He just shook his head no.

Keith walked closer. “Are you hurt?” Keith asked, concerned. Lance tracked him in the mirror and watched as Keith’s eyes widened in surprise. He saw it, and Keith’s gaze met Lance’s in the mirror.

“Oh no,” Keith whispered.

“Why?” his voice cracked as he spoke. It sounded pitiful. He sunk to the bathroom floor, too weak in the knees to remain standing. The shower was still running, the air was starting to get steamy.

Keith stood in front of him. He looked conflicted, like he didn’t know what to say or how to help Lance. But there was nothing he could do really. Lance didn’t expect him to have an answer.

“You…you should tell Shiro,” Keith offered after a moment.

“No!” Lance whipped his head up to look at Keith. “I already had my soap opera moment earlier. I can’t go to him about this.”

Keith took a knee in front of Lance, and tentatively reached out to place a hand on Lance’s shoulder. But then he looked in his eyes, determined.  “He’ll understand. More than anyone else, he’ll understand. It would be a good idea to tell him.”

“This is nothing compared to what he’s been through. He…he lost his arm! He was captive for a year. And I’m going to complain because of what? Seven hours in Hell, and because I’ve…the Galra branded me!” His voice reverberated off the bathroom walls as he shouted.

Lance looked down away from Keith and his eyes found the mark once more. It looked out of place. Fake, like a piece of Halloween makeup adhered to his skin. But when he touched the brand, it felt and stung as real as a sunburn. He dug his nails into his skin hard enough to break the surface. If only he could make it disappear. Drops of blood welled up under his fingernails.

“Lance!” Keith snapped, and snatched Lance’s hands into his own. “Don’t.”

Lance shrunk back away from him. He didn’t want to be berated by Keith right now. But Keith took a breath, and his voice was softer. “Don’t hurt yourself, please. Look, it’s not a contest of…of who has had the worst trauma. You…You’ve been injured. No one will think less of you because of this, if you’re worried about that. This is important, so I really think Shiro needs to know. What if it’s dangerous?

It was humiliating. That’s what it was.

“It shouldn’t even be there. Why didn’t the pod fix it?” He felt sick looking down and seeing the mark.

“I don’t know, Lance,” Keith reached out, as if he had read Lance’s mind, and handed Lance his discarded pajama top. “We could go ask Coran while we look for Shiro. He’ll probably be able to tell us why the pod didn’t heal you, or maybe you just left it before it had a chance to heal you completely.”

That was a possibility. Lance hoped it was true, but he had a sinking feeling that he wasn’t going to like the news he was going to get.

 _You deserve this_ , the voice from his nightmares hissed happily.

Lance ignored it, and pulled his pajama shirt back on. He swiped at a few stray tears on his cheeks. Keith rose and went to shut off the running shower. When he returned he offered his hand down to Lance. He grabbed it, and Keith pulled him up. Lance leaned heavily on him. His legs were not cooperating with him at the moment. Keith didn’t really seem to mind, thankfully.

“We’ll go to the infirmary first, and then I’ll track down Coran or Shiro,” Keith stated, and together they left the bathroom. Lance clung onto Keith. He didn’t trust himself to walk on his own at the moment.

He would really like just one day where something didn’t go wrong, but so far this week wasn’t working out in his favor at all.

Lance must have zoned out because it felt like only moments later before they were standing outside the doors to the infirmary. They slid open, and to their surprise both Coran and Shiro were in the room. Well, at least they didn’t have to hunt them down. The two seemed to be discussing something, but were immediately on edge as soon as they saw Lance draped over Keith’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong,” Shiro demanded, walking over to meet them. He wasn’t being harsh, just protective.

“Are you feeling ill?” Coran questioned.

Keith glanced at him. But Lance kept his eyes on the floor. “Come on, you should tell them. That’s why we came down here,” He prodded him in the side just a little. Lance guessed it was supposed to be encouraging, but he just felt like he been put on stage. He didn’t want this kind of attention.

“There’s a…” Lance paused. He was wrestling with how he wanted to say it. “There’s this thing. I don’t know why it’s there. It really shouldn’t be there, but it is. It’s bad. And…and why didn’t it go away?”

Okay, wow. That was not a complete sentence.

Shiro and Coran looked helpless and confused as they tried to decipher what Lance said. They turned to Keith for an explanation, but he didn’t offer one right away. He held out a finger motioning for them to wait a moment.

“Do you think it would be easier to show them?” Keith whispered to Lance.

He shook his head vehemently. No, that was absolutely not a good idea. So, take two. He took a deep breath and released it.

“I-I was going to take a shower,” Lance started to explain slowly. His heart was pounding in his chest. This felt oddly like another bad dream, but unfortunately he knew he was wide awake. Keith had just happened to find out, but admitting it to others was more difficult than Lance expected it would be. “And I took my shirt off. When I looked down at my chest I saw…I’ve, um, they…”

Shiro and Coran waited patiently for him to continue. He could see it written on their faces that Lance was struggling. Of course he was, he was fumbling over his words like five year old trying to read a college textbook.

“There’s a brand,” Lance admitted in a defeated huff.

“A brand?” Coran and Shiro parroted.

He didn’t want to show them, but it would be easier to get his point across. They would see it eventually anyway. His hands quaked as he lifted up the hem of his shirt to reveal the mark to them.

Shiro’s brow furrowed, he tensed, and a flash of anger crossed his features. Coran just looked surprised at first, then his expression fell, and he looked extremely sad.

Lance pulled his shirt back down. “Why didn’t the pod heal me?”

“Oh dear,” Coran sighed, and walked over to the control panel. “It did record an anomaly the whole time you were in the cryppod. I couldn’t figure it out. You appeared to be healing rather quickly, and so I thought it was misreading something due to your human anatomy, but then you were released before I was able to examine it further.”

“You were aware there was an issue and didn’t say anything?” Keith questioned, anger edging his tone.

“Yes, in a way,” Coran admitted. “I didn’t want to needlessly worry anyone. I was going to wait until Lance had a chance to rest more before investigating it.”

“I’m more concerned about why it wasn’t healed,” Shiro crossed his arms.  “It’s still looks pretty raw, and I’ve seen that pattern around it before. The fractal lines radiating out from the…around your chest. I’ve seen examples when I was taking a course on meteorology at the Garrison.”

“Did you want to be a weatherman?” the question popped out before Lance could stop himself.

Shiro gave a short laugh. His expression just a little less serious. Lance liked it better that way. “No, I took it as an elective. I figured learning about the atmosphere would be beneficial to becoming a pilot. Anyway, these lines can appear when someone has been struck by lightning. It leaves a very unique scar.”

“Lightning?” Lance and Keith asked simultaneously.

An image flashed through Lance’s mind. A dark figure standing before him, but he couldn’t quite grasp the full memory. It was like the creature from his nightmare. He felt himself swaying on his feet.

“Are you okay, my boy?” Coran was watching him.

“Not sure.  I felt like I was remembering something important. Um, how the heck did I survive a lightning strike? I-I wasn’t grounded to anything, right?”

“That I don’t know,” Shiro frowned. “And it was just an observation that the markings look similar. It’s just speculation, but it could have been caused from a weapon too. ”

Lance started to tune them out, becoming wrapped up in his thoughts. Lightning. But it wasn’t storming on the planet and he was trapped inside a stone building. At least not that he could remember. So what caused it? Lightning inside, or something with enough charge to have the same effect as lightning.

His head pounded like the memory that was attempting to come to the surface was trying to break its way out with a sledgehammer.

“You look like you’re going to be sick,” Keith guided Lance to sit down on the floor. “What’s wrong?”

“I-I uh,” Lance scrunched his face up at the pain beating behind his eyes. Then a fragment, a whisper of word popped into his mind. “I think I remembered something. Does the word ‘druid’ mean anything to you?” It was the only thing he could recall. It felt like poison on his tongue.

Shiro froze like he had seen the apparition in Lance’s nightmare. The hand of his cybernetic arm clenched into a fist so tight, it looked like it might crack the metal. Lance swallowed at the unease crawling its way up his throat. From the look of horror on Shiro’s face, the word definitely meant something. It wasn’t going to be pleasant news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to update this earlier in the week, but then I got some bad news that my corgi has this rare, incurable skin cancer. So that set me off track a little bit. So, sorry for the wait. 
> 
> I don't know if I'm completely pleased with the way this chapter is. I think that may be because I read through it a million times before posting it. I hope it reads okay. If there's anything that needs to be fixed, let me know. Also, I hope no one seems too out of character. 
> 
> Thanks so much for the kudos and comments so far. I love seeing them in my inbox!


	4. Chapter 4

It felt like everyone in the room was holding their breath. The sudden tension was palpable, and suffocating all at once. Quite frankly it terrified Lance. What had he unearthed?

“Shiro?” Keith called out to him.  Yet he seemed lost; his expression fixed on a spot on the floor. “Shiro!” Keith said again, louder this time.

Coran lightly placed his hand on Shiro’s shoulder, and it seemed to ground him. Shiro blinked and looked down to where Keith was still sitting next to Lance on the floor. A frown pulling at the corners of his mouth.

Lance watched wide-eyed. He had upset Shiro. This is exactly what he wanted to avoid. “I’m sorry,” he apologized quickly. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“What? No,” Shiro closed his eyes and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I-it’s not your fault. Just a bad memory.”

“I didn’t want to tell you,” Lance admitted quietly. “I didn’t want this to happen. This is hurting you.”

Shiro shook his head. “No, Lance. It’s okay, really. Please don’t think you need to hide things from me. From any of us. It’s just going to be a little difficult, of course,” he rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, “That doesn’t mean I won’t do my best to support you, okay? We’re a team,” Shiro smiled tiredly.

“Is it really that bad? The thing Lance remembered?” Keith piped up. Lance didn’t realize he was still leaning into him. However, Keith didn’t seem to mind. But Lance wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to that question. Especially if it dredged up bad memories for Shiro.

“Well, in the past the Druids were a highly revered group amongst the Galra,” Coran supplied, absently he twisted his mustache. “They were second to the Emperor himself, and acted like his court advisors. It was a coveted position in the empire. Although, I’m not sure how they’ve changed since the 10,000 years I’ve been away.”

“Still second to Zarkon,” Shiro answered. “From what I can recall they have a hierarchy. Some more important than others depending on skill level. Most of them wear masks. They…they’re incredibly dangerous. They’re the reason for this,” he raised his cybernetic arm, motioning at with his left hand.

“Did they…could they have done something to me, too? Something that I can’t remember?” Lance was pretty sure he was still in one piece. What if they did something he couldn’t fully see? Maybe it was because of the Druid that the brand on his chest wasn’t fully healed. He couldn’t remember seeing the Druid exactly, but he knew now one must have been present during his brief captivity if the looming shadow he recalled was anything to go by. “I mean, why…why did they even do this to me?”

“I don’t know,” Shiro said sadly. “I’m not sure what they’re entirely capable of. And they like to toy with people. Every being is below them. But memory loss seems to be common when they’re involved,” he tapped his temple with an index finger. “My memories aren’t always the most reliable.”

“I-I don’t know how you deal with this, Shiro,” Lance admitted shakily. It was too much to take in. The fact that he had been prisoner, the stuff he couldn’t even remember, and that the Druids might have messed with his body in some way.

Shiro crouched down and reassuringly placed his hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Right now, it’s just one day at a time, all right? We’ll take things slow, and work up from there.”

 “If you think it will help we can check on you too, Lance. Make sure everything’s tip-top, but the cryopod did record you to be completely healthy when you exited,” Coran went to retrieve something from further back in the infirmary. When he returned he had a wand in his hand. It looked similar to the wands used at security check points in airports.

Lance glanced at the tool, skeptically. “A metal detector?”

“What? This is body scanner for health checks,” Coran answered. “It should be able to detect if anything is not quite right with you. Just sit still for a few ticks.”

Lance did as he was asked and closed his eyes, whether or not that was done willingly was debatable. He leaned further back into Keith. Slouching slightly at the semi-awkward way he was sitting on the ground. He could hear the machine beeping ever so slightly. So far the beeps didn’t sound foreboding.

Although, Lance was more tired than he thought. This emotional rollercoaster he had been on lately was one heck of a ride, and he definitely wanted off. It was exhausting, and he just couldn’t keep up.

“All set,” Coran announced, and was reading information from his tablet.

“Does it tell you why he wasn’t fully healed?” Shiro asked, his voice seemed farther away.

“Hm, yes. In a way,” Coran sounded perplexed, like he wasn’t sure of what he was looking at. “Lance?”

There was a slight shake at his shoulder. “Lance,” Keith tried to rouse him.

His eyes felt cemented shut.  He forced them open, despite his body’s wishes. His vision was blurry. “Mmm, yeah. I can still hear you with my eyes closed.”

“That was not evident. Do you want to talk now, or wait until morning?” asked Coran.

So the real question was bad news now, or bad news later. Well, he was probably going to have nightmares again. So why not give it more fuel.  “Go for it.”

“All right then. There is nothing wrong with you physically. Blood pressure seems a tad low, and it did pick up signs of stress. But, ah, that’s pretty explainable.”

“So… the mark?”

“Oddly enough the scanner shows it to be healed. It doesn’t register as a wound at all.”

“Not a…” Lance felt his worries start to bubble to the surface again. “How can that be true?”

“It still looked pretty fresh. Is there an adjustment that can be made?” Shiro questioned, and stood to look over Coran’s shoulder at the results.

“I did try. However… however this was done, it was made so that our healing technology would be ineffective on it.”

And there it was. The bad news. The extremely bad news.

A wound that was already healed, but wasn’t? What kind of cosmic joke was that. And the more he thought about it, recognized it was there, the more it ached. The brand was actually painful.

Lance closed his eyes again, balling the fabric of his shirt up in his hands. Frustration welling up inside him. This sucked. He kept his eyes closed so that he wouldn’t cry angry tears that were threatening to spill over.

“How is that even possible?”  Lance could feel Keith tense as he spoke.

“I’m not certain,” Coran sounded defeated. “I’ll look into it further. That’s all I can do for right now.”

They continued talking, but he was fading fast. Lance wasn’t going to be able to open his eyes again. Sleep was pulling at him like a siren’s song. It oddly felt out of his control. As though his body had just decided it was time to shut down, and reboot.

He could feel himself going under ever so slowly, an ocean tide pulling him to the shore. The conversation becoming nothing but a whisper. He slurred a soft “sorry” and then nothing.

 It was silent.

It was dark.  

Then he was floating. The last time he felt like that was... well, he woke up chained to a ceiling.

Oh no. No. No.

He wasn’t there though. He was in the castle. With Shiro. And there was Keith. There was Coran. He had been talking to them, right?

But he blinked against the floating feeling, and his vision swam, the darkness starting to clear. But it was like he was looking up through murky water. Blurred figures stood before him, black and purple sloshing together in his line of sight. And he could feel the stinging heat on his chest.

Terror clutched at him.

“Are you certain there is no quicker way to accomplish this?” the purple figure asked, irritably. Lance could barely make out the voice, it was like radio static. It hurt, a pulsing drum beat playing in his ears.

“No,” the darker figure responded. And it chilled him to the bone. That was the voice he kept hearing. “Not unless you wish for _it_ to become corrupted.”

What were they talking about? He didn’t understand. Was this real, or a memory?

No, not real. He was almost certain he sleeping.

Wake up! It was time to wake up. He had to.

His mind was frenzied. He couldn’t move. Just the sensation of floating, nothing below him and nothing above him.

The scene before him flickered like a candle flame almost extinguished in a breeze. The shadow figure…the Druid glided over to him, and actually touched his cheek.

_Soon, Blue Paladin. There’s no escape. No survival._

Oh no. The Druid was the Ghost voice, which was not good for him. Wake up, Lance! Wake up for real this time. 

He felt a sudden force, like being smacked across the face and then he was lurching forward. Shooting upwards in bed. He gasped, blinking. He was back in his room.

He flopped backwards onto his mattress. “What the heck.”

Lance stared at the ceiling, just breathing and trying to think of anything else for the moment. He had fallen asleep in the infirmary, so that means someone must have carried him back to bed. Which also means he fell asleep on Keith.  Great, that was slightly embarrassing.

But he’d rather focus on that then the fear that was seeping into his mind. He needed a distraction.

He glanced over at the clock again. Six in the morning, so everyone should be getting up soon. Lance really wanted to go back to sleep. Just roll over, and bury under the blankets. But he knew it wouldn’t be restful. So might as well get started with his day. And he should also probably tell Shiro about his dream.

He rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes, and could almost feel the bags that must be forming there. He was so tired. With a sigh he slid his legs over the edge, and pushed off the mattress to his feet. His legs wobbled, and almost immediately gave out on him. Lance caught himself against the bed to steady himself.

He must have got up too quickly. After a moment the slight dizziness vanished, and he was able to walk. Okay. Good start. Now, he really wanted to try taking a shower again. No surprises this time. He knew what to expect.

So, take two.

He managed to make it down to the showers without incident. And slowly peeled off his pajamas. He was mildly surprised when he found a bandage over the brand on his chest. Lance decided to leave it on as he showered since it appeared to be fairly waterproof.

The water was warm, and felt wonderful. Unfortunately, the heat was making him lightheaded, so he decided keep the shower short. After exiting, he dressed in loose lounge clothes. Not his usual jeans and t-shirt, but he did put his jacket on. He was pretty cold even after the hot shower.

It was barely 6:30 when he was finished getting ready. So he went down to the kitchen to try and eat something. As expected the kitchen was empty. Shiro would probably show up soon. He was an early riser, along with Allura and Coran.

He poured some food goo into a bowl, made a warm cup of tea, and then sat down at the table. He sipped at the tea. It was good, but the food goo just did not look appetizing. He wanted scrambled eggs, not space jello. 

Lance rested his head in his left hand, elbow propped up on the table. He stirred the food goo idly with his spoon, Lance took a bite, and swallowed reluctantly. Nope, time to give up on that. The anxiousness twisting in his stomach just made his food taste bitter.  Maybe Hunk could make him something better later on.

 “No appetite?”

Lance jumped, nearly flipping the bowl of food into his lap. He turned to see Allura in the kitchen, fully dressed and ready to face the day. Geez, he really needed to stop spacing out. Too many people had been sneaking up on him lately.

“Uh, not really,” he admitted after Allura seemed to be expecting a response.

She moved about the kitchen gathering some food for herself, and something to drink. Then joined him at the table.

“Is there anything else that would suit your tastes better?” she asked, and seemed genuinely concerned.

“I think right now I’m just gonna stick with tea,” he lifted his mug, and took another sip. “I’m sure I’ll be hungry in a little bit; it just doesn’t look all that appetizing to me right now.”

She nodded, agreeing with him. She looked at her own food, and Lance could see her hesitating.

“But I’m not going to be offended if you eat in front of me.”

“I just did not want to be rude or insensitive.”

“Princess, you could never,” he smiled at her, and she returned it.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Allura ate her meal, and Lance nursed his cup of tea until it became lukewarm and slightly unappealing. Maybe he should tell her what was going on. But every time he opened his mouth, he chickened out.

“How are you feeling, by the way?” Allura inquired, breaking their silence.  “You still look extremely fatigued.”

He shrugged. “I just didn’t sleep well, is all. But I’ll be ready for training. Don’t worry.”

“No, Lance,” she said quickly.

“No… what?”

“You will not be training today,” she said, sternly. He looked at her questionably. Did she think he couldn’t handle it? Well, that was probably true. “I think you need at least another day. Just rest. I am not going to force you to exert yourself after everything you just went through. One more day will not hurt.”

“Oh…um, thanks,” And maybe that was for the best after all. The last time he had got out of the cryopod he was a little sore and groggy, but this time felt different. He really was almost too tired to function. So training being cancelled wasn’t the worst news.

“Can I at least go and see Blue?” he actually really missed his lion.

She laughed, a soft happy sound. “Yes, of course. I know she must miss you.”

The door slid open, and Lance watched as Shiro entered. They made eye contact, and Shiro gave him a relieved smile. But Lance’s heart kind of dropped. He wasn’t ready to tell Shiro what he’d seen…or remembered when he had been sleeping. Even though it was just a nightmare. It was probably super important.

“Lance, good to see you up,” he didn’t move to get any food. Instead he came directly over to the table, standing beside him. “How are you feeling?”

Boy, that question was going to be asked a lot, wasn’t it?

“Better, I guess,” he lied. Why was he lying? Just tell him everything. But instead, he continued. “Thanks for taking me back to room last night.”

“I was concerned after you fell asleep. Coran wanted to keep you in the infirmary because you looked like you passed out.”

Allura was immediately on edge. “What occurred last night?”

They both hesitated. Shiro, because it wasn’t really his place to tell what had gone on. It was personal for Lance. And Lance, he hesitated because he didn’t want to broadcast what had happened. He just wanted to forget everything, to create a time machine to go back and make it all go away.

“If there is something wrong, I need to know,” Allura pushed, and she had her “princess face” on. The look that was a half glare, where she was daring anyone to defy her. Lance was not fond of that expression, especially when aimed at him.

“I-I um, it’s a long story,” he whispered, and distracted himself with the mice who had popped up on the table at some point to prey on his untouched goo.

“Shiro,” Allura diverted her attention to him. “I do not want things being kept from me.”

He held up his hands in a gesture of peace. “It’s not as though I’m trying to keep a secret, but it’s really for Lance to say.”

Lance huffed and slouched back into his chair. Uneasiness was fluttering about in his chest. He should just say what’s on his mind, and get it done with. But there was the edge of panic that was freezing his tongue.

 “No, I’m sorry. I can’t. Not right now,” Lance pushed himself away from the table, standing unsteadily. Shiro reached out to help him, but Lance stopped him. “Please, you can tell Allua what happened. I’m-I’m going down to Blue’s hangar.”

“Lance, wait…” they both called out to him.

“I’m sorry,” he just couldn’t deal with it right now. He thought he would be fine, but it was all too much in a short amount of time. Besides, he could still feel the mark on his chest. It was starting to hurt more, throbbing with his heartbeat. “Just… I’ll talk later. I need a few, okay?”

Shiro sighed, and Allura watched the exchange with slight confusion. “All right, Lance. I understand. I’ll come find you in a little bit.”

Lance nodded and left the kitchen. He just needed something normal….or as normal as it got for them in outer space. He headed down the hall as fast as his legs could go. Trying to run away from anxiety that seemed to be following him.

Lance kept thinking about his dreams, even when he tried to push them away. They didn’t make any sense, but at the same time what if they were a warning. With each step, the anxiety seemed to blossom. Creeping out and constricting against his lungs. It was getting increasingly harder to breathe.

He was in the hall where their bedrooms were, on the edge of breaking down. He was fragile glass in winter, almost ready to shatter. And he needed help.

Lance frantically knocked on the door that wound up in front of him. It slid open, and a slightly groggy Hunk stood before him. Lance looked at him, knowing there were tears brimming in his eyes. Hunk immediately opened his arms. Lance launched himself into the comfort of his embrace, hoping he would serve as fortress to keep the panic from overtaking him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually the longest chapter in the story yet. Just over 3000 words. I'm hoping it doesn't feel too disjointed. Things should definitely start picking up more in the next chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for all the support and kudos so far. It's always amazing to get the notifications in my email. 
> 
> Also, to those who gave well wishes to my corgi--thank you! She's doing okay right now, really. It was just difficult to get the bad news at first.


	5. Chapter 5

Hunk didn’t say anything at first. Just kept a solid hold around Lance. God, he was so warm, Lance didn’t realize just how cold he had been up until that moment. Then he broke, and started sobbing into Hunk’s shoulder. Lance felt extremely childish like this. But really, Hunk wasn’t the type of person that would hold this stuff against him.

“Hey now, whoa,” Hunk spoke softly, patting his back. “What’s wrong?”

_You are truly pathetic, Blue Paladin,_ the Druid’s voice whispered suddenly, making Lance tense up. They sounded amused. _But you do not have to despair for much longer._

Lance squeezed Hunk harder. “Just leave me alone,” he moaned.

Hunk started to move away. “Uh, okay? You came to me first though.”

Lance desperately pulled Hunk back. “No, no I didn’t mean you.”

Fabulous. Now he was speaking out loud to the voices in his head. It didn’t make any sense. He knew this was because of the Galra on that godforsaken planet. He knew it was the Druid speaking to him now, either that or he was imagining it. What was the point, though? To drive him insane? Make Lance unfit to be a pilot? There didn’t seem to be a goal other than to cause him constant aggravation and pain.

“Man, you’re like a Popsicle,” Hunk moved his arms over Lance’s back to create friction, trying to warm him up. “Come here.”

Hunk moved out of the doorway, and pulled Lance closer to the bed, sitting him down on the edge. He grabbed the comforter to pull around his shoulders, cocooning the both of them. Lance was pressed into his side.

“There, better. Now, what’s bothering you?” Hunk asked.

Lance only shook his head, and tried to speak but he was still crying. “I don’t even know,” was all he could get out.

“Okay, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. We can just chill here until you feel better.”

Lance sniffed. As appealing as that offer was, he knew he couldn’t remain silent. He needed to get it off his chest. After a few minutes passed by he felt calmer. He wiped the tears from his cheeks with the heel of his hand. Then he spoke all at once, and perhaps a little too fast.  “I-I’m seeing really creepy things in my dreams, and hearing this weird voice. Sometimes even when I’m awake. Always has something to do with the Galra, and they’re stupid Druid witches. They’re plotting something. But I’m not so sure if it’s a dream, or a vision, or a memory. It feels so real, like they’re truly in my head.”

Hunk looked contemplative as Lance described what was going on. Like he often did when he was trying to work out a complex equation. “What makes you think it could be real?”

“It just feels that way,” Lance answered with a sigh. “But maybe its memories breaking through whatever barrier was created in my head. Because I still have this splitting headache. Either way it’s not good.”

“Did you tell anyone else?”

“Uh, no. I freaked in the kitchen in front of Allura and Shiro, and ran before I could say anything. I was going to tell Shiro about the dreams I had, but It was just all so much, so sudden. I-I didn’t know how to deal. I really am pathetic,” Lance tried to burrow deeper into the blanket. He hated this feeling of helplessness overwhelming him.

“You’re not pathetic, Lance,” Hunk quickly defended. “Anyone would be upset in this situation. Do you think you’re still in danger?” Hunk kept his voice low.

Lance shrugged. “I don’t know. But something is wrong. I feel like it’s just getting worse the longer I wait, not better. I feel sick, and there’s the…” Lance stopped himself. Hunk didn’t know about the brand yet, which was still aching fiercely underneath the bandage.

“I know about last night,” Hunk told him. “About what happened, what you…discovered.”

Lance looked up at him wide eyed. Hunk could read minds now apparently. “How?”

Hunk smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I saw Shiro toting you back to your room with Keith, and he explained what happened from the bathroom to the infirmary. Man, I think you took a few years off of Keith’s life. He was really worried about you.”

“Keith was worried about me? I thought I just embarrassed myself more than anything.”

Hunk nodded. “Yeah, of course he was worried. All of us were. Back on that planet if he hadn’t been hurt, he would have been the first one in to rescue you.”

“He called me an idiot when I shot the canyon to cause the rockslide,” Lance replied. Not that he was wrong. That was so stupid. If he hadn’t done that he wouldn’t be sitting here right now, like a kid woken up from a nightmare.

“Because that was an idiotic thing to do,” Keith’s voice came from the doorway, which was still half-way open. Lance startled. “But I would have been mad if the last thing I said to you was that you were an idiot. Because, well, you’re not.”

“No, you were correct. It was a really dumb thing to do actually,” Lance said, voicing what he had been thinking.

“Lance, you made a choice in the heat of battle. The best marksman in the universe couldn’t have predicted how those rocks would fall. You tried to give us an escape, even though it may have not been the greatest way to handle things. Regardless, you… were really brave.”

Wow, Keith rarely complimented him. “Uh, thanks,” Lance felt sheepish at the attention.

But the warm moment was cut short, as Lance’s vision started to become speckled black. He breathed in suddenly, a dull roar like ocean waves was the only thing he could hear. He tried to grab onto Hunk, to ground himself but he couldn’t seem to get his arms to cooperate.

“Oh no,” Lance heard himself say before the riptide from the night before rushed back and overpowered him. It tugged him down forcefully. He felt like he was plummeting. The warm metallic blues and silvers of Hunk’s bedroom were quickly replaced with blurs of dark grays and purples.

The scene focused enough for him to just make out that he was seeing purple illuminated metal walls, and the control panel of a ship. Two blurry figures were before him, but it was as though he was looking at them from waist height. The two figures were still grainy, distorted like a snowy television screen. He couldn’t seem to clear his vision.

“…can finally take the blue lion. We should make a move, that is if your plan does indeed work,” one of the figures spoke, their voice warbling. It was familiar. Lance had definitely heard it before in his other dream, and possibly even before that.

“You doubt me?” it was Ghost voice, rather the Druid, and they were clearly angered. It was not directed at Lance this time. It was as if he was eavesdropping. They definitely didn’t know he was listening.

“Skeptical,” the other Galra responded. “This is just a theory after all. The Castle is solar systems away ever since it jumped through the wormhole after Rathomire. If we had just brought him aboard the ship, we would not have to play these waiting games.”

“Yes, and also risk immediate destruction from the other Voltron Paladins. Do not fret. In all the vastness of space, the Blue Paladin cannot escape us. He can just delay the inevitable. But we are closing in on him. It won’t be long until the entirety of Voltron is delivered to Zarkon soon after. As promised.”

“I am tired of being patient. Show me the results, or I will turn you over to Zarkon as a failure instead,” the other snapped.

“Very well, Commander.” said the Druid.

What in the world was going on? He felt like he was being towed away from the scene, but he needed to know what was happening.  They had been on Rathomire. With him. They were the cause of everything! And now his team could be in trouble too.

“Lance!” a separate frantic voice called for him. “Lance, are you with me? Lance?”

Lance gasped, and opened his eyes. He flinched as Hunk was very near to his face, no longer sitting beside him on the bed, but instead standing before him. Even Keith was closer, bent down in front of him, one hand on his shoulder. Concerned expressions creasing both their brows.

He could remember now. The second Galra in his vision—or whatever it was that just occurred, was the voice of the lead Galra on Rathomire. Lance had referred to him as Commander in his head, but turns out it was his given title amongst whichever fleet he was charged with. Any other time Lance would have found that funny.

“Lance,” this time it was Keith trying to get his attention.

“W-what?” Lance stammered, trying to remember how to breathe. He was so confused. Things had flipped around so suddenly, it made him nauseous. His head was like a freaking tilt-a-whirl, and he wanted off.

Hunk visibly relaxed.  “You just conked out there for a second. We were talking and then you were a rag doll,” Hunk explained. “Like you literally passed out. Are you sick?”

Yeah, probably. There was definitely something wrong with him despite what Coran’s instruments had told him. Lance did not just fall asleep out of nowhere. He had a routine! But lately, it had been pretty much dashed to hell. And this…this wasn’t normal, and that dream was not just a dream. It was too bizarre. Too real. Even his fairly active imagination didn’t conjure up scenes like that.

“Lance,” Hunk called again. “Should we call Coran?”

His thoughts were swirling chaos. “No. Just give me a moment to focus.”

He just needed to try and make sense of everything. One Druid, and the Commander. Between the two of them they were planning to make a move on the Castle of Lions very soon. If what he saw was actually true, that is. If only he had all the pieces! What were they talking about? What plan did they have for him, for Voltron? Why were they only targeting Blue right now?

This sat sour in his stomach. The more he thought about it, it felt like there was a gaping hole in his mind. Something other than the missing portions of his memory.

Blue. Oh no, that’s what it was.

She had been awfully quiet since he woke up from the cyropod. Lance could barely feel a tickle of her presence at the back of his mind, but when he pressed or called out mentally it was like he hit a wall. Nothing was getting through. He had just been, well, preoccupied with everything else he failed to notice sooner.  Granted he had only been conscious for a few hours over the past two days.

“Lance, you’re freaking us out here,” Hunk said again. Lance opened his eyes. “You’re super pale.”

“Something is wrong,” Lance stated after a long moment. “I need to get down to her. Now!”

“Hang on, Lance,” Hunk pressed him down, keeping him in place on the bed as he tried to untangle himself from the blanket. “What exactly are you trying to do? I think you should stay put after your narcoleptic spell a second ago.”

“It’s Blue. I need to get to her,” Lance said, hoping that would be enough to satisfy his hovering friends.

“Blue is fine,” Keith spoke, trying to calm him. “I was down in the hangars before I came here.”

“No. You don’t understand. I-I just need to see her,” he started tugging at the blanket again. Man, he was really wrapped up tight.

“Okay, okay,” Hunk helped pull the comforter away. It’s absence made Lance shiver.

Hunk helped Lance up, keeping their arms linked. Which was a good thing, Lance really wasn’t super steady on his feet lately, and he was certainly feeling shakier after his most recent dream. Keith moved away from his spot by the bed, and walked out to the hall. The three of them started down to the hangars. Of course it was faster to take the zip lines, but there was no way Lance could even hang on long enough to get to the speeder. He just wasn’t strong enough.

Instead they took the main elevator. The downward drop, which was usually a fairly smooth ride, made Lance’s stomach rise into his throat. He tried to ignore Keith and Hunks constant stares of concern. He was happy to know they cared, but he didn’t like this kind of attention. It just made Lance feel more anxious actually. Finally, what felt like hours later the doors slid open, and they entered the hangar.

“See,” Keith waved a hand in Blue’s direction. “She’s safe in here. Has been all along.”

Lance let go of Hunk and walked towards his lion. “Hey, Blue. How’s it going?” Lance called out to her verbally, since the mental connection seemed to be on the fritz. There was no response or feeling in his mind.

“Come on, Blue. Open up for me,” there was still no movement. It was like she was ignoring him. “Blue, come on buddy,” Lance said softly. But she remained still. This had never happened before. Lance looked back at Hunk and Keith, who were just as perplexed as he was.

“Why are you ignoring me?” It was strange, and he was alarmed.  He walked towards the hatch, hoping maybe if he got closer she would just open up to him. But she didn’t. Instead her shield went up blocking him from coming any closer. Lance almost slammed into it.

“Blue! What’s your malfunction?”

Then there was a fleeting thought of worry, sadness, and a flash of distrust that wandered across his mind. Blue…she didn’t want him aboard?

“What… I don’t understand. What’s changed?”

_Danger._

Through her broken communications Lance picked up that she thought he was somehow dangerous?

“Come on, Blue,” Lance said, voice shaking. He was being rejected by his giant space cat and it was a lot more painful than one would imagine.

“Lance,” Hunk called to him. He could see what was happening too. It was troubling.

Lance turned to face them once more. “I could feel an impression,” he started to explain. “She doesn’t trust me anymore.”

“Sounds like something Red would do,” Keith murmured. “Is she mad at you?”

“Yeah, there’s got to be another reason,” Hunk offered. “She’s the friendliest Lion out of the group. She wouldn’t just shut you out like this.”

Lance shook his head, pain piercing through his skull at the movement. The steady headache he had been hosting since waking up was making itself known all over again. He brought a hand up to his temple in a lame attempt to soothe away the pain.

And then he felt something entirely unpleasant. It presented first in the back of his throat. The salty, copper tang of blood on his tongue. He swiped a hand across his face, and it came away with a warm, bright red smear. He was bleeding.

“Oh man, Lance!” Hunk scrambled to hand him a cloth, one he miraculously pulled out of his pocket. Lance took it, holding it to his nose to stop the blood from streaming down his face and dripping onto the floor.

It was extremely disorienting. Lance tilted his head back, but that only made him feel like he was choking. The blood ran down the back of his throat, pooling in his mouth slightly. He desperately wanted to spit.

“Pinch the bridge of your nose,” Keith instructed. “It will help slow the bleeding.”

With a trembling hand, Lance followed the instructions, and just stood there trying to breathe through his mouth. This had only happened to him once when he was rough housing with his siblings and got smacked in the face. Never has it happened out of nowhere. And he was really gushing like a geyser.

“This is because of that nightmare,” Lance muttered through his hand. The blood in his mouth still suffocating. He tried to stifle the rising panic of not being able to breathe properly, coupled with the increasing pressure in his head, and stabbing pains over his heart.

Blue was still connected to him mentally. His close proximity to her was like opening a door, and even though she had her shield raised, he could still hear her crying quietly.

_Not my pilot. Danger. Danger._

Lance sagged to the floor, defeated. Either he was going insane, or he was dying. Probably both. There was so much noise inside his mind. It felt horrible.

Suddenly, and all at once, it went silent. Everything was muted to him. Blue, his friends, his thoughts. Only one thing rang clear.

The voice of the Druid trilled happily. _Ah, finally! We found you, Blue Paladin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took me forever to post. I kept changing things around, and now I'm satisfied with it. Finally. I think the biggest thing is the flow of the chapter and whether its works, or if its too choppy with the dream transition in the middle. If there is any issue or something that stands out, please point it out to me. I like receiving a little bit of criticism. 
> 
> Thanks again for the support and kudos! You guys are wonderful!


	6. Chapter 6

Lance felt like an atomic bomb had been set off inside his head, and now he was sitting in the fallout. His ears were ringing, and his chest constricted. Was he even breathing?

Hunk knelt down beside Lance, he was speaking. Well, his mouth was moving, but Lance couldn’t hear a single word he was saying. He just wanted to curl into a ball, and not move or breathe or think.

Then with a pop the sound returned. Almost to the point it was overwhelming. Hunk’s voice was right next to him, frantic and persistent. And Blue’s presence was chaotic. She seemed to be crying.

“Lance, Lance speak to me,” Hunk’s desperate voice finally reached his ears. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Lance had doubled-over, head practically pressed to his knees on the floor, and he was probably freaking Hunk out. Not to mention there was still blood running slowly down his face. He felt like death.

“Lance, you’re scaring me,” Hunk placed his hands on Lance’s shoulders, just trying to brace him. The touch felt overpowering and horrible.

“Don’t,” Lance let out a breathless whisper. It was like every nerve in his body was on fire. Someone flipped a switch, and he didn’t like it.

Hunk pulled his hands away quickly. “I don’t know how to help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“Shh,” lance shushed him. “I just need a moment. Blue is being really loud right now, and I can’t focus.”

He took a deep breath through his mouth, trying to gain some control back. Then grimacing, he straightened up to look at his lion. She hadn’t moved, of course, but she was going wild in his head.

“Blue, I know you’re upset. But I’m right here,” he said to her, trying to sound stronger than he currently felt.

_No. Pilot lost. Gone. Gone_

Her words reached him clipped and disjointed. Usually they were more fluid. But there was despair in them now. He tried to reach out to her, but the mental wall that was somehow between them wasn’t letting him speak to her through their connection.

But she could obviously hear him when he spoke out loud. “No, Blue. Your pilot is right here. You can see me.”

_No. Danger. Trick._

“You’re speaking to me in my head. I can hear you. I’m your pilot. Your paladin.” Lance desperately spoke. He just needed to make her understand .Why was she so confused?

_My Pilot?_

The shield flickered in front of him. A sense of worry washed over him from her.

 _Wrong. Feels wrong._  

“Yeah, something’s wrong. Please, Blue, believe in me. I’m here. Just don’t shut me out. I need you,” Lance rested his hand on the force-field.

 _Can feel My Pilot. Not here. Gone. Far away_.

Now he was the one confused. “I’ve been in the castle all along.”

“Blue thinks you’re somewhere else?” Hunk asked quietly. Lance could only shrug. He didn’t know and he wasn’t getting anything more from her.

Her presence started to diminish as if the little outburst had been too much, or maybe it was Lance who was short circuiting. Her consciousness shrunk to a dim little glow in the back of his mind. He could just barely make out that she was there.

“Lance?”

Lance shifted his gaze slowly from Blue to Hunk. Without Blue’s distraction the words of the Druid came rushing back; they were running out of time. “We’re not safe.”

“Lance, of course you’re safe,” Hunk reassured. “But I think you might need another trip up to sick bay.”

“No, no. They’re coming. We have to wormhole out of here, or they’ll find us. Find me.”

Hunk’s gaze turned sympathetic, and he shot Keith a concerned glance. “The Galra? They won’t find you. It’s okay now,” he spoke slowly, like he was afraid Lance would turn tail and run.

“Is he running a fever?” Keith questioned. “He sounds a little delirious.”

Lance huffed in frustration. “I’m not confused, or hallucinating. Okay, well maybe the second one. But just maybe. The Galra really are coming. You gotta believe me!”

“How do you know that?” Keith had moved to the opposite side of the hangar, near the elevator, like he was about ready to make an announcement on the comm system of the ship.

How convincing would it be to tell him that Lance knew from the voices in his head? Not very.

“I’m calling Shiro,” he heard Keith say. His voice echoed a bit in the hangar like he was farther away. And Lance wasn’t able to respond to him.

He felt like everything was spinning. He was on one of those schoolyard merry-go-rounds. The metal ones that if you spun fast enough you were afraid of flying off. And he was suddenly on the very edge of flying off.  

“W-we have to leave,” the words felt numb over his lips. He swiveled his head back to look at Blue despite feeling like it would just roll off his neck. They weren’t completely severed from each other, but she didn’t recognize him. How had things deteriorated to this point in only a few days?

The room around him continued to spin at dizzying pace, colors blurred together like a murky water painting. When Lance was finally able to orient himself he was being carried on Hunk’s back. They were no longer in the hangar, and instead back on the upper decks of the castle. A familiar path to Lance in recent days, on their way to the infirmary.

“Put me down,” Lance protested weakly.

“I doubt you could even stand up straight right now,” Hunk replied over his shoulder.

“I’m fine,” but he didn’t even sound convincing to himself.

Another moment passed. Lance was really having issues focusing on the things around him. But he had been set down on a bed in the infirmary. Hunk milled about and then brought him a damp cloth to wipe the drying blood off his face. At least the bleeding had seemed to have stopped.

 “Coran should be here soon to set up a healing pod,” Keith said from somewhere out of his line of sight.

“No, I don’t want that,” Lance moaned.

“Lance, you started a nosebleed out of nowhere and you’re passing out. Three times now in the past hour and a half,” Keith tried to reason with him.

“A healing pod will not help me,” he snapped. “I know….this-this can’t be fixed with one of those.”

“Lance, it will help,” the irritation in Keith’s voice starting to become apparent.

“You don’t know that!” He yelled. His heart pounded harder as anger swelled up in him. “Nothing about this is normal. We don’t know what will fix this, if anything!”

The doors of the infirmary opened up and the rest of the team filed in including Pidge. Keith must have summoned them all over the comm system from down in the hangar. Great. The more the merrier when it came to strange, unexplainable ailments, or whatever the heck was really wrong with him.

“Oh dear,” Coran muttered to himself, eyes flashing over to meet Lance’s. “You look a little worse for wear, Lance.” he didn’t waste any time and started to fiddle with the controls. One of the pods rose from the floor. “Some time in the pod wouldn’t do any harm, and we can run a more in depth scan to see if something may have been missed.”

If they stuck Lance in there the Galra would come. Blue would be a sitting duck. She would be taken. And his team wouldn’t be able to form Voltron. And…and he would be…

“All right, come now Lance. Just a few ticks and you should start feeling better,” said Coran.

Hunk placed his arm under Lance’s elbow, intending to hoist him off the bed and bring Lance over the cryopod. He quickly pulled away with all the strength he could muster. Lance could not go in there. Not now.

“Stop! If you put me in one of those I’ll… I will die!” Lance said loudly, and maybe a little more dramatically than he needed to be. “You guys just need to listen to me. Please. We don’t have much time.”

“Come on, buddy,” Hunk tried to coax him. “You’re obviously hurting. This will help.”

“No, it won’t! It didn’t cure everything the first time,” Lance cried. Anxiousness was starting to wrap cold fingers around his lungs again. It didn’t feel safe.

“Lance, you’re being stubborn,” Keith countered. “Stop fighting us.”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Shiro came over to him, putting himself between Lance, and Keith. “We’ll hold off on that. We won’t force you to do anything that you don’t wish to do.  But we just want to help if you’re not feeling well.”

“It’s more complicated than that,” Lance said, feeling breathless. “I don’t know how, but the Galra, the commander that was on Rathomire, is tracking me. They’re coming back.”

“We fled that system days ago,” Allura chimed in. “They shouldn’t be able to follow us now.”

Lance huffed, and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “I know this sounds crazy, but I’ve been having these visions or dreams. And in the most recent one, the Druid from the planet... they said they found me. They know where I am.”

“Lance,” Allura started, her lips pressed into a tight line. “Shiro did tell me what happened last night, and I do not wish to discredit your worries, but how are you certain that this is real and not truly a nightmare or something stress-induced?”

“Yeah,” Pidge added. He had almost forgotten she was there. “It’s been known that extreme stress can have severe negative effects on the body. You need to rest, Lance.”

They didn’t believe him.

He couldn’t keep eye contact. So he chose to look at the floor rather that at Allura’s face. There was always the possibility that this was caused by stress. But his mind was creating scenarios that were more harrowing than what he had gone through at the hands of the Galra. They were still torturing him even now.

“This is real, I know it is. I’m not just making myself sick,” Lance said quietly, but kept an edge in his tone. He wanted to be taken seriously. Not viewed as some daydreaming invalid, no matter how close to true that might be. “We’re in danger.”

As if on cue an alarm blared to life throughout the castle. Coran retrieved his data pad and tapped a command. He looked up, stunned. “We’re being hailed by a Galra battleship.”

Allura’s eyes flashed from Coran to Lance. He could see her thoughts racing, trying to make sense of it all. Then her expression hardened, and she turned on her heel. “Everyone to the bridge.”

Lance tried to push off the cot, but his limbs were floppy and he felt uncoordinated. He needed to go though.

“You should stay here,” Hunk sighed, looking a bit worn out from worry. “But if you’re determined to go, I’ll help.”

Lance flashed a weak smile. He was quite frankly terrified to go up to the bridge and see what they were facing, but he couldn’t sit in anticipation, waiting to hear from his team. Hunk knelt down on one knee, and let Lance climb onto his back again, and they followed after the rest of their team. The last ones to enter the bridge.

“Accept it, and put it on screen,” Allura directed, and the screen of the main ship blinked to life as the Galra Commander appeared on screen. Hunk set Lance down on his feet but kept his arm wrapped around his waist for support.

“Princess Allura, and her Paladins,” Commander addressed them. He flashed a wicked smile, teeth bared. Lance involuntarily flinched against Hunk. He could remember that smile from his capture, and the claws running across his cheek…

“It’s okay, I’m here,” Hunk murmured softly only so Lance could hear. He must have picked up on his uneasiness.

“I am Commander Varrsik. I believe I have something of interest to you, and you have something I want.”

Allura frowned, and straightened her shoulders. Her posture showed defiance. “There is nothing you could possibly offer us that we would take. Do not waste my time, Commander.”

“Not even the life of your cherished Blue Paladin?” He asked, clearly baiting her. “Honestly, I am surprised to see he is still able to move about.”

Her defiance faltered. Lance could see things clicking into place, what he had said down in sick bay, and what was happening now. “What do you mean? How does your offer of trade affect him?”

He held up a cylinder in his hand. It contained a golden liquid, shimmering with bright blue flecks throughout. It made Lance shiver, and something in him suddenly wanted that canister desperately.

“I quite literally hold his life in my hands,” Commander Varrsik jostled the canister a little, the contents shifted like a snow globe. And Lance wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not, but he felt like his limbs had started to go numb.  “Quintessence is such a fragile thing.”

Allura gasped, and even Coran clasped a hand over his mouth. The moment of surprise was instantly replaced with fury. “You cannot expect me to believe you are serious. There is no possible way that can be quintessence. It’s not something to be collected as a trophy; a soul could not survive separated from it for so long.”

“I would not waste my own time with a false tale, but believe what you will. This is real. And so I will leave you with this ultimatum,” he smiled again, and tapped a claw against the glass of the canister. “To save the life of your paladin, give us the Blue Lion. Then I shall return his life to you. If you do not comply, well then I suggest you start saying your farewells now. I will give you one quarter cycle to decide.”

The connection promptly disconnected, and the room was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post this last week, but couldn't get on my computer long enough to write with family things going on. Also, I am super nervous to post this chapter because maybe the chapter pacing is a little too fast, and now my crazy ideas are going to pop up. And I'm sitting here thinking "will this make sense?" 
> 
> But it's sci-fi, right? So I can make up stuff, right? Yeah. Okay...creative liberty!
> 
> Anywho, let me know what you think! Thanks for all the kudos/comments. You guys are amazing!


	7. Chapter 7

The tension in the room was palpable. Lance felt like he would collapse under the weight of it. He was breathless; his entire body was trembling. His pulse pounded in his veins, thrumming violently like the ticking of a bomb.

Everyone’s gaze tracked over to him, each a mix of pity, confusion and sorrow. It wasn’t making him feel any better. And he felt absolutely horrible; like his legs had been swept out from under him. If not for Hunk he would have been flat on the floor by now.

Commander Varrsik’s message had set everyone on edge. Allura still had her back to the rest of them, her body held rigid and her head hung low. Coran looked equally as upset from beside her, worry lines creasing his brow. Lance knew nothing good was going to come from this.

“Princess?” Shiro took a tentative step forward, wanting to get a direct answer to what they just witnessed.

“How could they possibly…” she murmured, and spun around to face Coran. “To desecrate something so sacred. It’s….it’s appalling!”

He nodded solemnly. “Indeed. This is quite terrible.”

Okay, so their reactions weren’t exactly giving Lance the warm and fuzzies. He couldn’t quite grasp why this situation was so grave. Except for the part where his life was somehow at risk. Again. That seemed to be a trend lately. He really wanted it to stop.

Allura seemed to have spotted his weariness. “Why don’t you take a seat, Lance,” she suggested, and gestured over to his designated chair that rose from the floor of the bridge. Hunk guided him over to it slowly, and he slumped into it.

“Hold up,” Pidge interrupted, crossing her arms over her chest. “What does this all mean? You’ve mentioned quintessence before, but is that what is actually making Lance sick now?”

“Yeah,” Hunk added. “I thought it was supposed to be good?”

“It is good,” Coran answered. “It’s the lack of it that is making him ill. Basically, quintessence is your life force. It exists in all living things. Plants, animals, entire planets, and even the Lions of Voltron are sentient enough that they possess it, too.”

“All right,” Pidge nodded. “And now the Galra have some of this stuff from Lance. Which is apparently bad… why exactly?”

“It’s difficult to explain,” Allura sighed. “And this circumstance is extremely unusual. I do not fully understand how the Galra managed to accomplish this from across separate galaxies. But it’s like with the Balmera,” Allura explained, her hands tightened into fists. “In a way its crystals were like physical forms of quintessence. When it was stripped to the point of almost being barren it started to die. The same goes for all beings. Quintessence cannot always be seen. Its presence is there, within you, but invisible.”

“And now, Lance is being stripped of his quintessence,” Shiro finished. Allura frowned, and nodded her confirmation.

“Wait,” Lance held up a finger, his hands were still shaking. “So Commander Crazy wants to trade Blue for that jar of…of soul jelly? We…we can’t do that. That’s nuts!”

“At this rate if this is allowed to continue,” she paused, apparently trying to choose her words carefully. “Without quintessence, one would ultimately perish,” Allura told him, speaking slowly. He could see she was judging him, waiting for a reaction of some kind.

But Lance wasn’t sure how to react though. He certainly wasn’t prepared to hear any of this, however.

“Can we reverse what they’ve done somehow?” Pidge inquired, she was trying to put the puzzle pieces together. “I mean if they stole it, we can get it back some way.”

“Can’t we just get him more quintessence?” Keith proposed. “Or…I don’t know, share some of ours?”

“Yeah, yeah. Dude, can totally have some of mine,” Hunk offered.

“It’s not transferrable like that,” Coran told them sadly. “It’s unique to you. Specifically in your cases, it mirrors that of your lions. That’s partly why you were chosen as paladins. Your quintessence helped to solidify your bond with them.”

“So can we even reverse what they’ve done?” Lance asked quietly. This obviously wasn’t something the magic cryopods would be able to fix. “Is their offer even feasible or is it just a ruse?”

Coran hummed, twisting the corner of his mustache. “If we had that canister, I’m sure we could patch you up in no time. Without it, we can’t reverse the process unless we knew how they managed this in the first place. Lance, can you remember anything that would give us a clue perhaps?”

“Remember?” Lance repeated. He could hardly remember anything that started this after the rockslide. He was lucky to just be having a coherent conversation now. His head hadn’t stopped spinning since he was brought up from the hangars.

He tried to string his memories together. But he still hadn’t recalled everything that happened during his capture. There was Commander Varrsik, and the Druid. Definitely the pain. His body still felt like he had run into an electric fence. It hadn’t stopped hurting, he just been distracted up to this point.  The only other thing he could remember clearly was the chest pain. “Oh.”

“You’ve thought of something?” Coran was watching him. Lance tapped his chest lightly over his heart, and Coran’s eyes lit up with realization. “Hm, you could be onto something. Be back in a tick,” Coran rushed out the doors.

“Yeah, totally lost again,” Pidge muttered taking a seat on the steps near Lance’s chair.

Lance tilted his head over to look at her. “I think maybe the mark has something to do with this.”

“Mark?”

Oh, crap. Pidge didn’t know. She hadn’t been around before. “Yeah. Um, t-there’s a brand on my chest.”

Her expression fell, eyes wide. “What? Seriously?”

Coran walked back through the doors, devices in hand. “All right, Lance. Please remove your shirt.”

“Here?” With everyone watching. Even though they all knew about it, it was another thing to be completely exposed to them.

“Yes, here,” Coran fiddled with the device he brought back into the room. “We don’t have much time to dilly-dally. A quarter cycle is only a few of your Earth hours.”

Lance huffed, and tried to suppress the chill that ran through his body. He was still freezing, and the bridge wasn’t exactly the warmest spot on the castle-ship. He shrugged off his jacket, and struggled to pull his shirt off over his head. The tension in his muscles pulled painfully against the brand.

He looked down, fingers hovering above the bandage. “What the…” Lance quickly pulled off the bandage. He needed to see underneath.

He heard Pidge gasp. The brand was worse than before. The angry red skin of the brand had darkened, and looked more like a bruise. It was actually glowing, a light fluorescent purple arching up into the scarring that branched out to his shoulder.

“W-why do I look like a glow stick!?” His voice cracked from the rising panic.

“Oh man,” Hunk fretted. “That’s definitely not normal.”

“Intriguing,” Coran mumbled. “This must be the conduit then.”

Coran messed with his instruments, and Lance was transfixed on his chest. He really, really hated the Galra.

The machine in Coran’s hand beeped, and Altean words scrolled across its small screen. “Odd, there seems to be a bit of bio-engineering incorporated here.”

“What does that mean?”

“They melded technology into this brand. It’s very difficult to detect if you don’t know what to look for. That’s why you were never healed. The pods don’t recognize it as you. It’s like a tracking device, and a one way transmission for the containment cylinder.”

“If it’s a transmission,” said Pidge “We have to be able to do something. What about shutting it down or reversing it?”

“That wouldn’t be wise,” Coran’s gaze flitted from Pidge back to the brand. “Removing quintessence in this way would have corrupted it. It wouldn’t be compatible with Lance any longer because it was stripped clean of the host source. It would just be pure energy.”

“W-what?” Lance did not like what he was hearing. His situation sounded more hopeless the longer Coran talked.

Coran held up a finger to stop him. “The good news in this otherwise horrible tale, is that I think they’ve managed to siphon it from you little by little using a genetic anchor. Most likely by using your blood…however grim that might sound.  His quintessence is still connected to him, but just barely.” Coran patted him on the knee, and handed his t-shirt back to him signaling silently that they were done.

“Why would they go to such lengths?” Allura questioned as she sat down on the steps near the main controls. “This is incredibly elaborate.”

“For Blue,” Lance whispered, he had all the pieces but now it was finally all clicking into place. “I mean they asked for her specifically. And because of this mess she thinks I’m somewhere else…the canister is me.  With it they think they’ll be able to pilot her.” 

The Druid’s voice abruptly cut sharp and hot through Lance’s mind. He instantly clapped his hands over his ears, futilely trying to block out the sound.

_You are foolish if you think you can plot against us, paladin.  Try and betray our generous offer, and you will suffer tremendously_ , they snarled fiercely.

Oh god. He forgot that he was a living walky-talky. The Galra were honed in on him. If they wanted to listen, they would.

“Lance?” Hunk gripped his shoulders, trying to support him.

Tears pricked his eyes for the umpteenth time that day. He felt like a hot poker had just been driven through his skull, and he pitched forward in his seat, forehead pressed to his knees.

“Lance, what’s the matter?” Allura asked, alarmed.

He swallowed thickly, trying to get his mouth to work. It took a few minutes. Finally he propped himself up, elbows resting on his thighs, he looked over at Allura.  “We…we can’t do anything about this. They’ll see it coming.”

“No, they couldn’t possibly. We’ll—”

“They will! They know exactly where to find us, just like I told you down in sick bay,” he shouted with more energy than he had to spare. It only made his headache worse. “They will know any plan that you come up with, too. They… they’re in my head,” Lance told her pitifully. “Somehow. The Druid just threatened to make things worse if we go against their offer.”

“We can’t just give them the Blue Lion, though,” argued Keith.

“But…but we can’t let Lance just…He needs that jar of quintessence, right? Or else, or else…” Hunk stopped himself, upset. He squeezed Lance, and Lance just kind of leaned further into the contact. This was a miserable situation.

He patted Hunk’s hand on his shoulder, and straightened up the best he could. “Keith is right. We can’t just give them Blue,” he tried to take a deep breath. “So we’ll just ignore that insane Commander,” Lance decided. This was the best thing they could do. All the pieces of Voltron would be safe.

“Ignore…do you realize what you are suggesting?” Allura’s voice rose in pitch, she jumped to her feet, pacing. There were other murmurs of disagreement from the group.

Lance shrugged, he was trying to act nonchalant. “Yeah. I get it. You don’t need to connect these dots for me. It’s simple. Blue is irreplaceable; you hand her over and you pretty much cripple Voltron. But…but you can find another blue paladin.” The words felt bitter in his mouth. He just had to convince them that this was the best course of action.

“Lance,” Shiro started gently. Ever the mediator. “No. That’s not how this is going to go.”

“Yeah, Shiro’s right. We’ll find a work around,” Hunk’s voice quivered as he spoke. “There has to be another way. Any other way.”

“No,” Lance snapped cutting him off. Hunk cringed a bit, and Lance instantly regretted his tone. Hunk was only worried. They all were. He ducked his head, and spoke softer.  “I get it. This is bad. I’m not too thrilled about it either, but we can’t hand over Blue. She’s my lion, I have to protect her. No matter what.”

“Now you listen to me,” Allura stomped her foot to the floor, her expression stern. Lance flinched at the harshness of her voice. She strode over to him, and then unexpectedly, she bent over him. Lance tried to back away, but was cornered in his seat. Unexpectedly, Allura gently cupped his cheek with her hand.

“You are my paladin. It’s true you have a role to protect your lion. And to defend the universe. But my role is to support and protect you as well. I will make any final decisions here,” Allura looked him in the eyes, and smiled tenderly. “Do you understand?” 

“I understand, Princess,” Lance said quietly.  He could feel the tears welling in his eyes again, one escaping down his cheek.

Allura brushed it away with her thumb. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so difficult to write. I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't get anything to sit right, and now I'm finally satisfied with it (after re-writing it four times). But I just really hope the made up science stuff about the quintessence makes sense to people that cannot read my thoughts and know what I'm thinking lol. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for all the support so far!


	8. Chapter 8

He heard it like a promise: the Blue Paladin will not survive much longer.

The words echoed around him, choked him. Made his stomach clench, and his heart ache.  Because he knew it was true. Could feel it in the core of his being. He was fading like a candle flame eating away at the stub of its wick.

“There is a chance that the blue lion will not respond even though you have siphoned its pilot’s quintessence,” the Druid spoke, their voice icy and cold.

“It does not need to work for me,” Commander Varrsik retorted. He pivoted on his heel to face the Druid, a curve of a grin pulling at the corner of his lips. “We only need it in our possession. This was just a means to give them an incentive to provide us with the lion in the first place.”

“As you’ve said before.” The Druid sounded almost bored. “But such an elaborate and time consuming plan will have been a waste of our resources if you do not succeed.”

“It seems to be faring just fine. It will be a significant blow to those meddlesome rebels. They cannot fight at full strength if they are down a lion, or if the paladin dies. Either way, it should gain the Emperor’s favor.”

“Then act quickly. The Blue Paladin is dying faster than expected at this point, and a lion would be more impressive than a dead Earthling.” the Druid’s sharp voice rolled into a dull roar, and faded like an amplifier dying out in a concert hall.

Lance woke with a start, head bobbing forward like when you fell asleep in math class and were afraid of being caught by the teacher. Had he drifted off again?

That would certainly explain the conversation he just overheard. It was like his mind was being pulled to the source of everything. The quintessence was calling to him. Instinctually he knew it was so he could be whole once more.

Waking up was strange. It took him a while to become fully aware, as though his senses were being flipped on like switches in a breaker box. Lance remembered speaking with Allura, or being spoken to. Lectured? Whatever. They were trying to plan as Commander Varrsik had delivered his ultimatum, and then things had fizzled out after that as he feel asleep once more. Or he had fallen unconscious. It was hard to tell.

All he knew was that he was exhausted, and his body had been less than cooperative the past few days. Lance would give anything to just lay in his bed under the covers, safe and warm.  But he was afraid to sleep. If he had a choice, he wouldn’t have done it all. Mainly because the fear that he might not wake up again was very real.

He blinked a few more times, trying to focus and clear his vision. And took a couple steadying breaths.

Slowly he was being pulled back into the waking world, but it was like trudging through wet cement. As he became more alert of what was around him, he could also feel the pain within his body return too. He should really be used to it at this point. He shifted and couldn’t help the slight whimper that he made. His muscles were protesting movement.

He felt a shift in pressure on his right side. It was warm, warmer than his body seemed to be capable of getting now. Someone was holding his hand. His reaction time was really slow, because he had just noticed that there was someone next to him. Even though it was clear they had been there all along.

He tilted his head to the right. Pidge was the pressure he had felt. She was squished carefully into the seat next to him, holding his hand, and rubbing gentle circles on the back of it with the pad of her thumb. Fingers wrapped gently around his wrist like she had been monitoring his pulse. Her contact with him was light as if she was afraid to touch him too much.

“Hey,” Lance said to her, smiling softly. “Uh, how long was I out this time?”

“Not too long,” she kept her voice low. “Maybe an hour. You kind of just blinked and were gone. You kind sagged in your seat, and I thought…it really freaked me out. I couldn’t wake you. Hunk said you did that a few other times today.”

“I guess I did,” he admitted. “I think it’s a symptom. My consciousness keeps floating off. I guess because my quintessence is supposed to be with me and it’s…well, not.”

They had carved him up and hollowed him out like a jack-o-lantern. He could feel the missing part of him in the way that Blue longed to be with him. And the way she despaired at his absence. If not for her he surely would have faded away completely by now. It was terrifying and frustrating.

“Pidge?”

“Yeah?”

“Do me a favor. D-don’t let me fall asleep again, please,” He said, doing his best to keep from stuttering. He didn’t want to show how afraid he was truly feeling. Even though he had spouted off nonsense about giving himself up not too long ago, he wasn’t ready. Not yet. But his friends, his team, they would be able to handle this. He just had to have some faith. They wouldn’t let this slide, right?

“This is weird, huh?” Pidge said dragging Lance away from his thoughts. She was distracting him. “Who knew we’d get wrapped up in crazy magic stuff like this?”

Lance couldn’t help but laugh, “That’s putting it mildly.”

She was quiet for a second. “Things are just being…sorted out. I think Allura is almost ready to contact that Galra commander again.”

“O-oh,” Lance felt a shudder roll over his skin. He couldn’t help it. Pidge pressed into his shoulder a little more trying to comfort him. “Where is everyone else?” he asked after a long pause.

“Changing into their armor,” she provided. “But we didn’t want to leave you alone in case you woke up when we were gone. So I’ve been hanging with you here for a bit.”

She was already dressed in her armor. He idly wondered what Allura was planning. He wanted to ask, but it was probably for the best that he was kept in the dark given he was being mentally hacked. Although it certainly seemed to work both ways. He had honed in on what the Druid was saying again before he woke; listening to them without their knowledge. He was dying, and they weren’t all that willing to let him survive either.

So if his team was off prepping their armor, then it meant they were also prepared to fight. That wasn’t too surprising. Obviously, the Galra were not to be trusted.

Lance huffed and leaned his head back to look up at the ceiling. This was stupid. The Galra were stupid and arrogant. How could they think they would actually gain anything out of this plan? If they stole Lance’s quintessence, then he would die. Simple. That was evident to everyone, even the Commander knew that. But they stole it to pilot Blue. Or at least attempt to do so. It might be tricking her now with the distance between the two ships, but Blue was intelligent. She knew what Lance looked like. As soon as he’s not in the seat of the cockpit she would throw a fit. Especially with a Galra soldier attempting to handle the controls.

So killing him wasn’t a good plan to try and utilize the blue lion. Which Lance had a feeling from his overheard conversation, that it wasn’t the ultimate goal for the commander anyway. But to cripple Voltron, yes, it would work. Can’t have a one-legged robot being a defender of the universe after all.

The others filtered back onto the bridge fully dressed in their armor. Hunk saw that Lance was awake, and made a beeline for him. Keith followed after Hunk, and Shiro offered him a smile before he made his way over to Allura at the main controls. They spoke to each other in hushed tones.

“Hey, buddy,” Hunk greeted him. Lance could see he was trying to be brave, but there was an underlying worry in his eyes.  “How you doing?”

“Hanging in there,” Lance smiled at him. Or tried to. It might have been half a grimace the way his body felt. “You guys look, um, prepared.”

“Just trying to be ready for whatever comes our way.”

“Right. Good idea.”

“Coran,” Allura beckoned to him, also attracting everyone else’s attention.  “I think we’re settled. Please contact Commander Varrsik back on the frequency he first hailed us.”

“Right away, Princess,” Coran turned and pressed buttons on the console in front of him.

“Wait, what’s going to happen?” Lance wanted to know to some degree what they had come up with. It affected him.

“Trust us, Lance,” Shiro turned to him. “We’re going to handle this, and you’ll be feeling better in no time.”

Lance sighed. He knew it wasn’t anything personal. Shiro’s curt response was just to keep things in their own court, and control the situation the best they could.  “Yeah. Yeah, Okay. I trust you.”

“Ready?” Coran waited for confirmation before initiating the call. Pidge had jumped to her feet, and stood to the right side of Lance’s chair. Keith was standing directly behind him, and Hunk remained to his left; a solid, grounding hand resting on his shoulder. It was like they forming a protective barrier around him.

The view screen illuminated in front of them. It only took a few seconds before the commander appeared. His eyes roved the bridge until he met Lance’s. He gave him a predatory smile that made Lance want to recoil. Suddenly Lance’s head felt feather light, but his lungs felt like they were leaden balloons trying to inflate. It was panic trying to claw at him and consume him once more.

“Ah, Princess. I did not think you would respond so soon. I assume you’ve made your decision.”

This time Shiro stood just beside Allura. Both of them looking equally fierce. Together they were powerful. “We will agree to your terms under a few conditions of our own,” Allura stated.

Commander Varrsik frowned, “You think you’re in a position to barter?”

“We know what is at risk here, Commander,” Allura’s voice was steel, meant to cut like a knife. “You want the blue lion, but as it is, it will not be moved from its hangar so easily.” Allura swiped her hand over the console and allowed an image to appear of Blue with her shields up.

“Is this some feeble attempt trick me?” Commander Varrsik sounded enraged. “You will pay dearly.”

Lance’s heart constricted painfully in his chest. It was probably a reaction due to fear. He really hoped that was the case, and not more magic manipulation.  Hunk squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.

“It is not a trick,” Allura told him calmly. She was trying to keep her composure and an air of diplomacy.  “Our stipulation is that you meet us on the moon Channix in the Rozsi system in one varga. Alone. Any sign of your battleship, and it will be shot down by our remaining lions without hesitation. We will find a way to move the blue lion by then.”

Lance couldn’t help the peal of laughter that slipped out, either from rising hysteria or just exhaustion. It was hard to tell. “Of course she won’t move.” He felt the words just slipping out, unhindered. His inhibitions seemingly lost. “Your idiotic plan was a waste of time, Commander. You can steal my quintessence, but that still won’t bend Blue’s will to yours. She is intelligent. But you clearly are not.” Lance giggled to himself.

The commander’s face curled up in a snarl. “You dare speak to me in such a way!”

“Commander,” Allura interjected, and shot Lance a look over her shoulder for him to remain quiet. But Keith had already slapped his hand over his mouth. “My apologies. He is…he is not in his right mind.  We will still trade.”

Commander Varrsik considered it for a long moment. He looked amused suddenly, and that was not a good sign. “Very well. I accept your terms for the exchange. I shall meet you on the moon with a shuttle.” His proud smile returned, revealing his fangs. “But to get the canister returned the Blue Paladin must come himself now, and take it from me with his own hands.”

Lance felt the blood drain from his face, sobering him up. He didn’t want to go anywhere near that narcissistic jerk. He could barely even stand on his own. It would be an embarrassing, and frankly impossible endeavor.

Okay. Wait. Deep breath.

It was a ploy anyway. Commander Varrsik wanted to get under Lance’s skin and rile him up. He didn’t like that Lance had back-talked him. He was trying to scare him, and frankly it was working, but he shouldn’t give the commander that satisfaction. He wasn’t going to play the self-sacrificing card any longer. Besides he tried that, and Allura shot him down. Now he had to fight back.

Lance gathered all his courage, despite feeling like he wanted to crawl under his bed and hide. He tried to suppress the shudder he felt crawling up his spine. There was the ghostly flash of a knife being held to his skin. He could feel the way the cold—no, not now.  There was no blade. He wasn’t on Rathomire, he was in the Castle of Lions.

He sat up as straight as he could in his seat, and glared defiantly back at the commander. “Fine,” he snapped, placing as much fury and bitterness into his voice as he could muster. “I’ll see you there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a month to update? Sorry! Well, I wrote other things in the meantime, but still this chapter was giving me so many issues. It just didn't want to be written. And I feel like the emotions might be a little all over the place. Hopefully the flow is okay... 
> 
> Well, thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! I really love reading your thoughts (I'm sure I've said this before). They keep me going!


	9. Chapter 9

The bridge was quiet when the transmission ended. Lance felt like he was buzzing as the adrenaline had built up in him, but it was starting to dissipate now. He sighed and closed his eyes.

“That was…unexpected,” Coran murmured.

“He doesn’t like it when I back talk. Probably not used to insubordination,” Lance tried to joke, but his hand ghosted over his face. He could feel the phantom claw marks run down across his cheek to his neck. He suppressed a shudder.

“Sorry,” Lance slouched further into his seat. “I shouldn’t have opened my mouth…I don’t know why.” He groaned. “Sorry.”

 He heard Shiro exhale, as he did when he was trying to keep his cool. “It’s okay, Lance.”

“In which you mean to say it’s really _not_ okay,” Lance tossed back.

“No,” Shiro said patiently. “It certainly wasn’t what we wanted. But we also assumed he’d pull some underhanded trick. Although this does throw a bit of a wrench in our plans.”

“Like maybe how we’re going to get you on the ground? You can’t meet Varrsik,” Keith gestured to Lance. “You can’t even stand up on your own. It’s not safe!”

“Thanks, yeah. I’m aware.” Lance looked over his shoulder at Keith. “I don’t suppose we have like a wheelchair…maybe a hover chair? Something. I mean my legs aren’t really stable for long walks on a moon, you know?”

“I think I can fix that,” said Allura. “I’ve been thinking about this predicament, and your physical weakness right now is from your quintessence leaving your body. If we give you some that would most likely help give you a boost.”

Lance looked at her quizzically. “But… Coran said you couldn’t though. You’re contradicting yourself.”

“Well, that is technically correct. We can’t give you enough to fix the problem. It wouldn’t be a long term solution. In theory it would be more like a patch job. It should work long enough to settle this arrangement if I transfer some quintessence to you. But it could also just burn up what’s left of yours faster.”

That last part didn’t sound ideal. Lance shrugged. “It’s worth a shot I guess.”

“Then I will try when we get closer to the moon. For now, can you get changed into your armor?”

“Um, probably.” Lance tried to push himself forward and up in the chair, but his arms physically shook when he did. He stopped and leaned backwards. He let out a frustrated grunt. How pathetic was it that he couldn’t even get himself out of his seat?

Really though, he shouldn’t even be embarrassed anymore at this point. He knew what was wrong. And this weakness couldn’t really be helped. His friends didn’t look down on him for not having the strength to stand either. But it still made him feel slightly pitiful. He sighed.

“Hunk? Buddy, can I get a lift?”

“Oh! Yeah, of course.” Hunk moved just in front of Lance’s seat and bent down on one knee so that his back was easily accessible. Lance was able to scoot to the edge of his seat (with minimal effort) to get close enough that Hunk could grab under his thighs and pull him onto his back.

“Please return to the bridge when you’re fully dressed. Then I’ll jump us to Channix.” Allura told them, and offered a reassuring smile.

Hunk walked off the bridge and headed towards the armory. Lance assumed that’s where his suit was. He hadn’t actually seen it since they were on Rathomire. But when he was brought back to the castle-ship, he knew he wasn’t wearing it at the time. He vaguely remembered Shiro having recovered it from the cave- room where he was held.

“How are you really doing?” Hunk asked him softly.

“Well, I wish none of this was happening. I wish that I felt stronger, and not like one of Allura’s mice could beat me in a wrestling match. And I really wish I hadn’t opened my big mouth and challenged Varrsik. That guy…” Lance fell quiet for a moment. He buried his face into Hunk’s shoulder. “He’s sadistic. I don’t know if I can actually face him. I keep remembering things in flashes…”

Lance stopped and buried his face into Hunk’s shoulder.

“Oh, I get it. It’s all right to be upset. That was…bad.” He muttered. And really it was only just a few days ago.

They remained silent the rest of the way down to the armory. And even still when they entered. Hunk let Lance down on a bench that was off to the side of the room, and went to gather the blue paladin armor.

Lance shrugged off his jacket, and then clumsily pulled his t-shirt off once more. He found his eyes falling on the brand. He forgot he had removed the bandage. It was still doing a weird glow-stick lightshow in his veins. So he tried to avert his eyes.

Hunk came back over to him and handed him an under-armor body suit. Lance held it in his hands. He didn’t really want to put it on. God, he really put his foot in his mouth now. All the courage he seemed to have gained up on the bridge was slipping from his grasp like a fistful of sand.

His hands shook as he held onto the fabric. The last time he had been wearing this he had been forcibly stripped from his armor, made vulnerable, and practically flayed. He could still feel the cuts scoring his flesh in places when he blinked.

“Lance, are you okay?” Hunk had set down the rest of the armor in front of him. But he must have been able to see the way Lance was trembling.

“I’m… scared.” Lance admitted.

Hunk’s eyes softened, and he sat down on the bench beside Lance. “I know this has to be terrifying for you. I can’t really imagine completely what you must be feeling.” Hunk wrapped his arm around Lance and pulled him close. It really did help when he did that. Hunk gave the best hugs. “We can find another way. You don’t have to do this.”

Lance balled the fabric of the under-armor up in his fists. “I do though. I challenged him, and if I back out I’m as good as dead.” He could see Hunk wince at that statement.  Lance took a steadying breath, and looked Hunk in the eyes. “I’m not going to let him take any more control away from me. I have to do this; I have to get my life back.”

“I’ll be there to back you up. No matter what,” Hunk told him.

“I know,” Lance sighed, and had to avoid Hunk’s gaze. “But please promise me something. We don’t know how this thing is going to turn out. If it doesn’t…go well, please take me back to Earth. One day. I don’t want to be buried in space. ”

He heard Hunk make a strangled sound in the back of his throat. His voice cracked when he spoke. “Lance, d-don’t say that. Please. This…this will work.”

“Please, just… I’ll hope for the best, okay? But I need you to promise me.”

Hunk swallowed. His voice was thick when he answered. “I promise, but it won’t come to that.”

Lance swiped at his cheeks. He didn’t mean to start crying, but apparently he was. Then he glanced at Hunk who was also wiping away tears.

Hunk pointed at the suit still scrunched up in his hands. “I don’t want to pressure you, but I don’t think we have much time. Do you think you can get dressed?”

Lance nodded.

It took quite a bit of effort to get dressed actually. More than he had expected, and it was sort of humiliating. Or would have been if he was with anyone other than Hunk. Hunk let Lance move at his own pace, and only intervened when Lance asked for help. He had to lean on Hunk more than once to stand and get pieces of his armor into place. And while it was probably less than ten minutes to get all of the pieces together, it felt much longer than that. By the time they were finished he was quivering from the exertion.

“God, I’m a mess,” Lance breathed. He felt faint from what he had just done. How in the name of Voltron was he going to make it out to the face of a moon? He hoped whatever Allura had planned would work out for him.

“You’ll be feeling better soon enough,” Hunk smiled at him. “You ready to go back up to the bridge?”

“Yeah, we probably shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

Hunk gave Lance another piggyback ride to return up to the rest of the team. The others were waiting for them patiently. When they entered the room once more Hunk set Lance back down in his chair, or rather he kind of flopped unceremoniously backwards into the seat.

He was so worn out now. Tired and cold and sick and scared.

“Lance!” Keith’s voice cut sharply through the air. Lance’s eyes snapped over to him. “You need to stay awake.” Keith said, a little softer than before.

“Was I…” He hadn’t even realized he was starting to doze off. Or that he had even closed his own eyes for that matter.

“I think it would be a good idea to try whatever it is you had mentioned before, Princess,” Shiro suggested.

“Yes, of course.” She moved over to Lance. “I’m going to try and transfer some of my quintessence to you, and hopefully it will ease the fatigue and weakness you’ve been feeling. It should resemble the transfer you witnessed on the Balmera.”

“Okay.”

Allura settled the fingertips of her left hand against his temple, and her right hand gently above his heart. She closed her eyes in concentration, and slowly energy began to glow in her hands.

“Ah!” She hissed, and snapped her right hand back like she had been burned. Lance could feel a tight pang like someone had just tried to hammer a nail through his heart.

“Sorry. I was not expecting that. The magic that is tied into the mark was retaliating against my own. But I know what to expect now. If you let me try once more, it should be work.”

Lance bobbed his head yes. And she put her right hand back down on his chest. Her hands glowed once more much like he had seen back on the Balmera.  He could feel the energy spread to him. It was so warm. It made him feel like he was standing in the shadows of an early spring day, before the sun had been able to warm all the cold spots away.

As she continued, Lance actually felt warmer than he had in the past few days. But there was still a coldness at his center sitting heavy in his chest.

Allura cautiously pulled her hands away. “Do you feel any different?”

He did and he grinned. “Yeah. Like I have more energy. I’m not so tired anymore. Still don’t feel fantastic, but I can work with this I think. ”

She stepped away, and Lance was actually able to push himself from his chair and stand. It felt miraculous. His smile grew wider when his knees didn’t immediately start to waver under him. “I wish we had done this sooner!”  He pulled Allura into a hug. She made a surprised sound, and then he felt her hugging back. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” she said so that only he could hear, and then he released her from the hug.

“There’s no telling how long that transfer might last, Lance,” Coran warned. “Especially since they’re able to siphon quintessence from you. Try not to overexert yourself, my boy.”

Well, even though he knew that, it wasn’t exactly a comforting thought. “Right. I don’t know if I can promise that, but I’ll do my best.”

“Okay,” Shiro interjected. “We probably shouldn’t waste our time then. Allura can you bring us to Channix now?”

“Yes.” She moved to her controls in the center of the room. “Prepare for the wormhole jump.” She advised. Everyone took their seats, but it didn’t take very long at all to arrive to the moon. Less than thirty seconds at most.

The first thing to register in Lance’s mind was that the moon was pink. Or rather, partially. It was a swirled mix of white, brown, and pink. Like a melting bowl of Neapolitan ice cream.

Allura directed the castle-ship towards the surface of the moon, but was going to remain in the upper stratosphere in case there was an attack. She assured them that the moon had a breathable atmosphere, and they didn’t need to worry. But that was the least of Lance’s concerns at the moment.

“All right,” Shiro called out. “Everyone remembers what to do. Keith and Pidge get to your stations.”

They nodded. Keith clapped Lance on the shoulder as he passed by, and smiled softly. “See you soon.”

Pidge gave Lance a quick sideways hug, holding tight to his waist. “Kick that jerk’s butt,” Pidge whispered, and Lance couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled up.

The two of them left the bridge together. And Lance tried not to think of how that moment felt like saying goodbye instead of just see you later. But Shiro stepped into his line of sight a second later, drawing him from his thoughts. He beckoned Lance to follow, along with Hunk, out the door. Lance waved back to Coran and Allura as he left. The three of them went to one of the non-lion hangars to board a Speeder to shuttle them the rest of the way to the moon.

It was quiet as Shiro steered their ship. Lance felt a little shaky, either from his quintessence boost already wearing off or it was his nerves. He felt like he was walking into this situation somewhat blind, no he was definitely walking in blind, and he felt utterly unprepared.

In the distance another ship approached. It was clearly Galra in design, and was larger than their speeder, but at least it wasn’t the battleship. It landed, and Shiro maneuvered their speeder to land across from it, keeping a safe distance between the two ships.

Seeing the Galra ship had reality crashing over Lance all over again like being hit with a bucket of ice water. He seriously didn’t want to do this. Oh god, he wanted to go hide back on the castle-ship. Or better yet, why couldn’t this just be some horrible fever dream?

“Stay calm, Lance,” Shiro said quietly, and placed a steady hand on the back of his neck. “I know how hard this is. Facing him. Just breathe.”

Lance didn’t realize that he had been breathing harshly, and forced himself to take a few deep breathes to get things under control. Once he felt he had a handle on things the three of them exited the speeder with Shiro in the front, and Lance and Hunk trailing closely behind him.  
  
The Galra ship hissed and a door popped open. Commander Varrsik appeared, a wry smile on his lips as he made eye contact with them. Lance stiffened slightly. It was harder to see him in person than on the viewing screen.  
  
"An entourage was not what we agreed upon, Blue Paladin," Commander Varrsik snapped, as he walked towards them.  
  
"You never said I had to come alone," Lance fired back despite the growing dread inside him. “Just that I had to be here. So here I am.” He gestured to his himself waving his arms up and down over his body. He was absolutely afraid, but he couldn’t help sassing off.

"Careful how you address me," the Commander said coolly, and for show shook the canister of quintessence in his hand to prove he was in control.  
  
"The deal was you give us that and then we'll give you the lion," Shiro took a few steps forward, hand outstretched as if he expected to just be handed the canister.  
  
"Not so fast, Champion," Commander Varrsik sneered and Shiro’s eyes narrowed at having been addressed by that title. "He must come for it. Not you. But first, show me the lion."  
  
It was a trap. It felt like a trap. "She won't come unless I call her, and I can't really do that without that." Lance pointed at the canister. "We discussed this earlier."  
  
"So we did. And I told you to find a way around that issue."  
  
Lance hated this guy so much. "Fine. Show and tell it is then." Or at least he hoped. Maybe Blue could be convinced to come out of her hangar somehow. Maybe they figured that out when he had fallen asleep.

“The blue lion is on its way,” Allura’s voice announced through their comms. Lance was relieved, but briefly wondered how they managed that. Most likely she was prompted inside from Allura since she did possess some control over all the lions.

Blue appeared entering the atmosphere a moment later, flying straight towards them, and landed in the distance. Her shield raised as soon as she was sitting back on her haunches.    
  
"There.” Lance pointed over his shoulder at Blue. “Give me the quintessence and she's yours."  
  
"Very well. Take it," Varrsik held the canister out at arm’s length. Lance took a tentative step forward, and then glanced over at Shiro, who nodded ever so slightly.  
  
Lance closed the gap between him and the canister. He kept his gaze steady on Varrsik, who watched in return. His yellow eyes shone with dark amusement. But he remained still as Lance approached.

He didn't want to meet the Commander’s gaze, but could feel it boring into him. Lance finally reached out and picked up the canister gingerly with both hands. With his hands on the glass he could feel the energy inside the container surging towards him. It felt like a circuit being completed.  It was so warm and alive! He wanted to bask in the feeling of it. This felt right and whole.

And then something else filtered in stronger than before. This presence in his mind. It was Blue. He could feel her again.  And he knew she could sense him as well.  
  
"…lot. My pilot!" She chimed happily. She still felt far away, and their connection was not as strong as it should be. He could hear her clearly, but it was like she was whispering. "My Lance. I am so sorry. I was fooled, and could no longer reach you when I realized the truth of your words.”  
  
"Blue, it's okay," he spoke to her through their connection. "I missed you. But we’re not out of the woods yet."  
  
The connection still felt staticky. "Yes, Red Pilot said there was danger. Red Pilot is at my controls."  
  
Wait. What? Keith was in his lion? Oh…well, that kind of made sense. They wouldn't be able to take her without a fight then. And Keith really loved a good fight.  
  
Lance snapped his eyes back up to Varrsik’s face. The interaction with Blue had been less than a few seconds, although it definitely felt longer. Lance started to walk backwards away from Varrsik.

And then the Commander snapped his hand out latching onto Lance's wrist. He yanked him forward and twisted him around so fast that he had to scramble to keep hold of the canister in one hand. Varrsik turned so that he held him in a lose sort of headlock, claws pressed against his throat with one hand, the other holding his arm pinned behind his back.  
  
No, no, no, no. This couldn't be happening. Not again.  

"Lance!" Shiro and Hunk shouted in unison. He could see the light of Shiro’s arm flaring up and Hunk had activated his bayard.

“Deactivate your weapons now or I’ll kill him where he stands,” Commander Varrsik demanded, and shoved Lance hard enough that he almost dropped his quintessence once more.  

“You got what you wanted!” Hunk shouted. “Let him go!”

“There is no guarantee I will be leaving here with that lion. Surely, you have something planned. So, he will be coming with me.”

The Commander said something else but Lance could only clearly make out his heart beat thudding in his ears like a war drum as the panic seized him. He was going to be captured again. Out of the corner of his eye he caught the silver flash of robot sentries, and the purple blaze of their lasers as they shot at Shiro and Hunk. This shouldn’t be happening!  
  
Lance tried to pull away, but Varrsik only tightened his grasp. "Blue!" He called out to her both aloud and in his mind.  
  
"You thought you'd get away from me,” The Commander snarled, and flipped Lance around to face him. Lance was eye level with his predatory smile. Trapped. Defenseless. “This isn't finished until your heart has stopped beating, Paladin. You do not get to survive this. I will make sure of that.  And that beast of yours will be my prize.  "  
  
Lance was alone. Claws to his throat and a grip that kept on tightening to the point he could barely breathe. He had to get away, so he kicked Varrsik in the shins hard. He tried to run, but he was not fast. He could stand, but he wasn’t strong enough to sprint. Varrsik quickly snatched him back again by the collar of his armor.

 And then Blue lunged forward. She shook the ground where they stood. Lance was able to skitter away due to her distraction.

An explosion burst into the air, catching Varrsik’s attention. The green lion had also made an appearance and was decimating the small platoon of sentries that had escaped from Varrsik’s ship like a swarm of roaches. His shuttle was also blown up in the chaos a moment later.  
  
Rage twisted the Commander’s face. He reached at his belt and pulled out a weapon that resembled a pistol.

"Very well. If this is the way you wish for things to go, then at least I will have the satisfaction of killing a Voltron paladin." He aimed his pistol at Lance. “We’ll end this with the way it started.” Commander Varrsik grinned, baring his fangs.  
  
Suddenly everything was happening at once.

Blue's maw dropped open. Lance could see her powering up for an attack.

The Commander shot.  
  
A beam of ice was released.

The blast from the pistol darted towards him.

 The laser punched a hole through his armor and then through his right shoulder. He stumbled backwards knocked off balance, while simultaneously watching Commander Varrsik turn into an ugly, jagged ice sculpture.  
  
He fell against Blue's paw. Shiro and Hunk screamed his name. Blue roared violently above him.

When he looked down, the gun shot had also cracked the canister as it was held up against his chest. There was the unmistakable sound of shattering glass. The container burst open spilling its contents down his chest, into his lap, and pooled into the surface of the moon.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait! March was busy. I got the Nintendo Switch when it was released, and played Breath of the Wild for two weeks straight. Then we had a blizzard where I live, work was closed for two days. That was fun, except I got the flu during the blizzard and almost passed out trying to dig my car out of 3 feet of snow. So that part wasn't so fun. And then I went to Florida for a vacation the last week of March. So yeah, busy times for me. 
> 
> This chapter is the longest one yet at 3865 words. And I started this fic almost exactly 6 months ago (I can't believe it's taken me that long to write this thing. Ugh). So I'm hoping this chapter is good, and makes sense haha. I read through it, but I'm sure there's probably something I missed.


	10. Chapter 10

The glass had shattered.

Oh god. The glass had _shattered._

And with it, he felt his connection with Blue break like an elastic band snapping against his mind. It sent pain lancing through his head. Simultaneously, the magic vice that seemed to be wrapped around his heart released its hold with a violent pop. He felt his heart skip a beat, stuttering in his chest, and feebly trying to continue pumping.  

His hands felt numb, and his limbs heavy. His chest heaved as he tried to breathe; his lungs ached fiercely like all the air was being ripped from them through his panic and pain. All of his remaining energy was melting away like snow in the desert afternoon.

Oddly enough, he didn't immediately lose consciousness like he imagined he should have if the container were to break. Now he thought that might have been a better option. Instead, he could feel his terror surge within him, crawling through his veins. The pain at losing both Blue and his quintessence washed over him with the force of a flooding waterfall.

He could actually feel his quintessence seeping out of him now. Or that’s what he imagined the sensation he was experiencing was. He felt like he was bleeding from every pore. And though he did have a shoulder wound this was something _more_.

The second thought that came to mind was: whose brilliant idea was it to put something so important in a fragile glass container? But he got his answer as he shifted his gaze and looked up at twisted features of the Commander’s barely recognizable corpse encased in the ice.

No. Don’t think of him. Not now.  
  
He tore his eyes away. He couldn’t look that way. All this turmoil was his fault, and now Lance was fizzling out. He had been so close, so very close, to making things right again for himself. And it just wasn’t fair! It had been snatched away from him in an instant.

Lance stared at the golden liquid pooled in his lap, stunned. Or maybe he was going into shock. The quintessence still dripped down the front of his chest. It had a blue sheen to it that reflected similar to an oil slick on a road after a rainstorm. He tracked the liquid as a few remaining drips fell from what was left of the canister in his hand, mixing with the blood that flowed down from his shoulder.  
  
He weakly tugged his glove off and dipped his finger into the quintessence. It immediately soaked into his skin, but it felt wrong. Familiar still, but did not give him the same sensation of warmth as it did when he had first grabbed the canister. It was like food that had congealed after sitting out for far too long.  It was no longer appealing; his body didn't want it.  
  
Maybe all the science and magic had damaged it. Coran had mentioned that the process could have corrupted it, after all. The only thing keeping his soul— his life force-- in one piece was smashed to bits in front of him. The energy had waned, the quintessence was no longer powerful enough to revive him.

“Lance!” Shiro called to him, startling him from his focus on his lap.

He and Hunk were running towards him from where they had been fighting just a moment ago. He had never seen someone run so fast.  Hunk almost fell into a baseball slide to get down to Lance’s level quicker. His eyes roved over Lance frantically trying to assess the damage, and then his arms fell to his sides, helpless. This wasn't a problem that either of them could fix with a couple of stitches. He wasn't bleeding. Well, no. He was actually. But that wasn't the big problem here. His very being was leaking out into the foreign moon, like yolk from a cracked egg.

“J-just call me Humpty Dumpty,” Lance joked, his words breathy as he gasped for air. “A-all the king’s men can’t put me together again.”  
  
"No, no. Lance." Hunk stumbled over his own words. "You'll be okay. It'll be okay." Hunk fussed over him. He gently lifted his helmet off Lance’s head, maybe in an attempt to provide some little comfort. His hand brushed over his cheek. “We’ll work this out.”  
  
Lance tried to smile at him. He could see Hunk’s eyes watering, and he really didn't want to make Hunk cry. Lance wished he could reassure him.  But he didn't want to lie either. 

"We can’t move you yet, buddy. Allura is on her way down. She'll be here in a few seconds," Shiro addressed, coming down on his knees beside Lance as well. He spotted the gunshot wound in his shoulder, leaking sluggishly, and pressed his hand to the wound to keep pressure on it. Lance flinched, digging his heels into the dirt. Shiro’s firm grip held him so he couldn’t squirm away.

"I’m sorry, I know it hurts. We’ll get you patched up soon,” Shiro continued softly. “And then we’ll go back to the castle, okay?”  
  
As Shiro spoke the quintessence slowly started to soak in and disappear into the ground. Lance watched it morbidly. It was sand in an hourglass. His time was running out.  "I-I don't know… if she'll be able to fix this," Lance admitted.  
  
"She will. She has to," Hunk said it like he was trying to convince himself that his own words were true.  
  
But Lance could feel that it wasn’t going to be that simple. Nothing was lately. If it were, the spilled quintessence wouldn’t be in his lap, or on the ground. It would be properly inside him. Yet it couldn’t just be absorbed back into him. And it was so frustrating because it was sitting right there; he could touch it. But it had been removed through magic and science. It would have to be placed back the same way.  
  
 He felt as though he were coming undone at the seams. It was weird to be dying from something like this. It would never have happened on Earth. He wouldn’t be dying on a moon in some dark corner of the universe if he was still on Earth.  If he were home.

Oh great. Now he was thinking about Earth. He wished more than anything he were there now. He just wanted to go home. And not returning in a coffin either. But that seemed to be how his story was going to end. Suddenly, he just couldn’t really accept that.

Lance wanted to cry.  
  
"Hey, Hunk," he said. It took a lot of effort to drag air into his lungs enough to speak. It pained him, even more, to say what he was thinking.  "R-remember your promise to me, all right?"

Hunk looked stricken. “It’s…it’s not going to come down to that, Lance.”

“Oh no,” the softly spoken words distracted them for a moment. Keith had appeared beside them.

He must have finally been let out of Blue. Lance didn’t notice her let down the ramp, but it was just now retracting. Keith looked lost. He didn't really say anything else. He was obviously trying to make sense of what he was seeing though. Or dealing with the fact that he couldn’t fight this, or stop it from happening any more than the others could.

Then a second later the green lion landed next to Blue, and both Allura and Pidge bolted from it as soon as the access ramp touched the ground. Pidge stopped short, standing next to Keith. Lance heard her gasp and she clutched his arm as if to steady herself.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. He hated this. Hated how he was hurting. Hated seeing his friends upset. He closed his eyes; he was actually crying. Not hard. He didn't really have the energy to expend on it. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry this happened.”

“Shh,” Allura shushed him, sitting down beside Hunk, right next to Lance’s uninjured shoulder. Her hands reached up and cupped his face again. He blinked at her as he watched her calculating expression trying to figure out what she could do to help.

“He’s losing a lot of blood,” Shiro spoke quietly, but urgently.

“We cannot move him yet,” Allura rested her hands lightly on his chest; her voice low. “Quintessence is fragile; this is a most precarious situation. But I don’t know if…” she stopped abruptly.

Lance knew she wanted to say: _if I can fix this_. It was obvious and terrifying and heartbreaking.

“I-I don’t want to die,” he sobbed suddenly, desperately meeting her bright blue eyes. His gaze drifted to his friends all looking down at him, distraught. Pidge was crying now, too. And it made his heart ache in his chest with each struggled breath. “I c-can feel it getting w-worse.”

Hunk squeezed his hand, “Just hold on a little longer, Lance. Please.”

Hold on? It felt like his grasp was slipping though. He had been trying to keep it together. He was gradually losing control. His body didn’t feel grounded anymore. Lance felt like he was floating off, no longer tethered.

Things were getting dim. The color leeched from the very air around him leaving everything looking gray. He was so scared.

He looked up at Blue’s face above him, and she seemed to stir. He couldn’t feel her presence any longer. Now he just wished he could talk to her once more.  One last time.

“Lance,” Pidge called to him, her voice a soft cry. “Please don’t go to sleep. You can’t… you told me not to let you, remember? Don’t leave us.”

He blinked slowly. He wanted to respond, to comfort her, but his voice was gone. There was no strength to speak.

Blue’s head bowed down towards the ground, the tip of her nose hovering just above the group. She appeared to glow. She was ethereal, as his vision wavered and blurred. It was the last thing he saw, and then his sight finally cut out. There was a loud rumble from Blue, the voices of his team indistinct around him, then his hearing was gone too.

It was quiet. It was dark.

There was a bright flash of light, and he was looking down at himself from up high; seeing briefly through Blue’s eyes. So maybe their connection hadn’t been completely severed. Lance knew he wasn’t the one to initiate this though.

The scene was of Hunk sobbing. Keith looking shell-shocked as he stared down at Lance's still body like he wasn't sure to be sad or mad. Pidge pressed into his side, he was holding onto her tightly as she trembled. Shiro looked grief-stricken. Allura was still trying to work, mouth set in a determined line with her hands on Lance, power emanating outwards from her palms once more.  
  
"He's not breathing." Hunk cried as Allura tried to focus on whatever she was doing. Maybe trying to salvage what was left of his quintessence. Lance thought it was futile. He wasn’t even in his own body any longer. This was how he was going to leave them.

The scene burned out.

Everything was still.

A beat of silence passed. Then another. Then another.

Lance was folded into darkness. And maybe he was dreaming. Or maybe he was truly dead. He couldn’t feel anything. It wasn’t terribly disconcerting. It wasn’t peaceful either. It just…was. If he were dead, this was not how he imagined his heaven to look.

Images passed before him, indistinguishable. Then like an old film flickering to life, they grew brighter. This definitely felt like a dream, rather than the afterlife.

And so he dreamed of the Earth. He dreamed of the ocean, of the waves lapping softly against white sand, and the way the saltwater swirled as the water pulled out from shore.

He dreamed of his home. A modest cottage-style house resting beyond the dunes. He dreamed of his shared bedroom and laying in the soft cotton sheets of his bed as the sun streamed in through the blinds. He dreamed of his mother’s quiet voice in the early morning, floating to his room on a coffee scented breeze. The old-fashioned percolator brewing and bubbling on the counter in the kitchen. He dreamed of his family’s laughter.

He thought of his friends. And how they had really done everything in their power to save him. He hated having to leave them behind. He missed them now, too.

A weight pressed down on the mattress he was lying on. He blinked and his mother sat next to him, her hand brushed across his face. “It’s not time to come home yet, cariño. You still have a job to do.”  A soft smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

“Mamá,” he whispered, “I miss you.”

“I know.” She pointed out the window towards the beach. Six familiar figures stood on the sand, their backs to him. “But your friends need you now. They’re waiting.”

“I want to stay with you.”

She shook her head. “Not now, cariño. It’s not the right time.”

He could feel the truth in her words. He nodded. “I’ll come home one day.” He promised. “Alive. A hero.”

“You’re already a hero.” Her smile crinkled the edges of her eyes.  

“Te quiero, Mamá,” he whispered, rolling into her body to give her a hug.

She rubbed his back and squeezed him gently. “Te quiero con todo mi corazón.”

Lance closed his eyes. If this was a dream, he didn’t really want to wake up. He missed his Mamá, his entire family, so very much. He could feel the slight caress of her hand on his cheek. It slowly started to fade as the dream started to change again. He wasn’t sure what to expect.

Blue's voice cut through the inky black surrounding him. She reassured him: “All will be well, my dear paladin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally planned for this chapter to be the last one, but as I was writing the pacing just felt too choppy. I felt it was better to split it into two chapters instead. So there will be one more after this one. 
> 
> I feel like I hit quite a few cliches in this chapter (really hope that's not true), but oh well. Writing a dying character is kind of hard. Also, I don't really speak any Spanish. I was hesitant to put it in at the end even though it's very little. But I just felt like it fit better in the scene if it was there. 
> 
> As always, I appreciate the feedback. Everyone's comments so far have been lovely. Thank you so much!
> 
> And feel free to come yell or chat with me on Tumblr if you want!


	11. Chapter 11

Slowly, as if being pulled from the ocean itself, weight settled back into his bones. Sensations prickled against his skin; it felt strangely electric and overwhelming. In a way, it was as though he was feeling everything for the first time. All brand new. He was a livewire, open and exposed.

Lance knew he had been close to death. Or had died and been resuscitated. Resurrected? He wasn’t really sure what had happened. It was all swimming around in his head jumbled together with remnants of his dreams. And his final moments on the moon were hazy at best.

The sensations deepened. He could feel things around him. He could tell he was laying down, and it was soft. Maybe in a bed? It was mostly quiet, but there was a slight hum of machines working near him. Lance could also feel the fabric of sheets covering him. And there was a pinching tug pulling at the skin in the back of his hand. The only true discomfort he could currently feel within his body.

As he took a mental recap, he was aware of another sort of pressure. One he couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t painful or anything. It felt like Blue’s mental link with him, but now somehow it was heavier. Fuller. Like there was more substance to it than before. He would definitely have to ask about that later.

Just another item to add to the growing list of questions he had rolling around in his thoughts.

Something suddenly passed over the top of his head, gently brushing against his cheek and then threading through his hair. It was like how his Mamá had touched him just before his dream ended. But this was not quite her touch. Still it was meant to comfort.  A small whimper managed to escape through his lips. It was a weak sound.

“Lance?” it was Coran who called to him. “My dear boy, can you hear me?”

Coran sounded wary yet hopeful. Lance tried to speak, but his mouth, at first, felt wired shut. So Lance only managed to hum in affirmation.

“Oh. Thank goodness,” The relief was so apparent in his voice. Which made Lance curious; just how long had he been asleep?

His eyelids felt tacky and glued shut, but finally, he was able to open his eyes. It took some concentration trying to figure out how to do that exactly. Like it had been a while.

Lance had to squint against the light even though it was dimmed. His vision was fuzzed from sleep, but he could just make out Coran’s grin. “Welcome back,” he greeted. “I’ll be back in a tick,” Coran said looking over his shoulder as he left, and Lance heard his footsteps retreat.

The room was bright white. Blindingly so to his waking brain. Immediately he knew he was in the infirmary. But surprisingly, he was in a bed like he had originally guessed. Not stumbling out an icy pod. And honestly, that was a bit odd considering the situation.

It took a few moments for his sight to adjust, and to clear the fuzziness from the edges of his vision. His eyes still felt heavy still with sleep. He could probably fall back asleep very easily, but he wanted to see his friends. They had been…well, upset. Distraught. His last memory was of them crying, and he felt bad for making them think he was going to die. He didn’t really have any control over that though. This whole ordeal was a chaotic, swirling mess of bad luck and misery.

Lance was currently alone, other than Coran. He had expected to see everyone. But maybe it was late…

“ _Indeed, it is late. The rest of the castle is sleeping_ ,” Blue answered him calmly. Her voice rang through his mind. It was crystal clear, like wind chimes on a light summer breeze.  “ _Your leader is still awake. He went to the…kitchen? Yes. For a refreshment._ ”

“You can see everything in the castle?” He questioned. For her to be speaking to him from this distance was strange, but he didn’t need to get into the details of that now. It was just good to hear her voice.

She seemed amused and responded. “ _It is the “Castle of Lions” for a reason_.”

“Right,” He sighed, and closed his eyes. Lance continued to speak to Blue mentally. It felt somehow smoother now. So much easier than even before the whole thing with the Galra commander. Distance didn’t seem to impede their connection any longer. “Do you know how long I was out?”

“ _Many days. We were not sure if you would survive_ ,” she told him, her voice sounded forlorn. “ _I tried—I hoped you would not leave me_.”

“How…how did I survive, Blue?” He honestly wasn’t sure he wanted an answer to that question, but there was something in him that needed to know, too.

“ _I do not fully know. I wished it so. I did not want to lose you again_.”

“How can you just wish for that to happen, and for it come true?” Maybe it was a dumb question. After all, he was currently engaged in a fully psychic conversation with his magic lion.

“ _I do not know_ ,” she repeated. “ _I tried to share my power with you. Pour it into you. Your life was diminishing before me and I could not just stand by as a witness_.” He could almost feel her emotions touching him. Making tears come to his eyes from her sadness, but there was also a tenderness there too. “ _My dear Lance, you are so important to me_.”

“Aw, Blue, you know you’re going to make me cry. I love you too, beautiful.”

He heard the door open to the infirmary. Blue settled down once more so as not to distract him. He kept his eyes closed, trying to calm his own emotions, and listened. There were footsteps of a single person as they came closer. Then a weary sigh, certainly Shiro, as he took a seat in what sounded like a plastic chair as it creaked ever so slightly under his weight.

There was a slightly floral scent in the air. Shiro must have made some tea for himself. It smelled wonderful to Lance. He had been feeling so off and sick before that he just realized he hadn’t had anything to eat in… a while now. And he was thirsty. His throat was so terribly dry the longer he focused.

Unexpectedly, Shiro grabbed Lance’s hand, and Lance had to try not to jump. He obviously hadn’t anticipated the contact.

“Come on, buddy. You should be waking up soon. Everyone misses you.”

Lance squeezed his hand back. Shiro gasped lightly in surprise. “Lance?”

“I’m here,” Lance said softly, finally finding his voice.  And wow, did his voice sound pretty terrible. He opened his eyes again to look at Shiro.

“Hey there!” Shiro said with one of the brightest smiles Lance had ever seen.

“Can I…” Lance paused, clearing his throat. “Can I have some water?”

“Yeah. Of course.” Shiro turned to the table next to him and grabbed a pouch that had been sitting there. He poked the straw through it. Lance was already propped up slightly. He moved his arm to reach for the pouch, but it felt like it was made of lead. And was trembling with the effort.

“Let me help, for now, okay?” Shiro suggested. Lance nodded. “Small sips,” Shiro instructed as he held the straw up to his lips.

Lance dragged in a few small mouthfuls of the water. Shiro took the pouch away after a moment. But Lance had been able to drink enough to soothe the scratchy dryness of his throat.

“So everyone else...is sleeping?” Lance asked.

“Yeah,” Shiro nodded. Lance could see how truly exhausted he looked, too. “You’ve been out for almost a week now. The others were…pretty upset. Well, we all were. They started to run themselves into the ground. There are enough stress baked goods in the kitchen to feed an army. I finally got Hunk to actually go to bed.”

That sounded bad. And it was all Lance’s fault. The guilt must have been apparent on his face, because Shiro instantly jumped forward, leaning closer to the bed. “Lance, it’s not your fault, okay? They just were worried about you. It’s what families do, right?”

“Y-yeah,” Lance answered quietly.

Footsteps approached once more and Coran came back to Lance’s bedside. “It’s good to see you awake, Lance.” Coran smiled down at him. He had what appeared to be a saline bag in his hands. He switched it out with the one that was almost empty beside Lance’s bed, hanging just off to his left. He just now realized that the I.V. was the poking in the back of his hand he felt when he first woke.

“There. That should do until morning,” Coran announced proudly. “Is there anything you need, Lance? Are you in any pain?”

Lance did another assessment over his body. But there wasn’t any pain. Just a very slight pang of hunger. “No pain. Maybe a little hungry actually. Mostly just tired still.”

“Good. Good,” Coran patted Lance gently on the shoulder. “You gave us all quite a scare, young man. But I am so glad to have you back with us.”

“Glad to be here,” Lance smiled up at him.

“Why don’t you just get some more sleep,” Shiro suggested. “In the morning maybe you can try to eat something simple that Hunk cooked up, okay?”

“And some tea, please?” It really did smell great to Lance.

“Sure, buddy.”

Lance closed his eyes. “Shiro, you can go to bed too, you know.”

“Mm, I know. But I’ll stay with you for a little bit longer.” Shiro answered.

“Thanks,” Lance murmured. It was reassuring that he wasn’t going to be left alone.

Sleep tugged at Lance once more. He wanted to give in to it. But at the same time, he had so many questions whirling around in his mind about his survival. Blue seemed to snuggle him within their connection, almost as if she were trying to push away his worried thoughts. And Lance felt himself slip back into a dreamless sleep ever so gently.

There were no dreams this time. In fact, it felt like he had only just shut his eyes when he heard the distant sound of many whispered voices holding a conversation. It was like when parents talked amongst themselves at Christmas and tried not to wake the kids.

Lance took a few moments to gather himself. He was slightly better than when he had last woke up. It was less difficult to open his eyes this time, and when he blinked he could see everyone off to the side of the room standing in a circle conversing.

“Hey guys,” Lance called to them. The all whipped around to look at him in unison, and it was actually pretty hilarious. Lance started to laugh. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Keith rolled his eyes, arms crossed. “You know that’s not really funny coming from you. Do you know how close you were to becoming one yourself?”

Lance frowned at that. And Keith seemed to regret what he said almost instantly. “Sorry… I shouldn’t have said that.” Keith apologized. “I didn’t mean it. You just scared all of us.”

“It’s fine. I’m sorry, too. Bad joke on my part. Wasn’t really thinking,” Lance told him. He shifted his attention. “Hunk? You okay, buddy? I heard you’ve been doing a lot of baking recently.”

Hunk cracked a smile, but it barely broke through the exhaustion on his face. However long Lance had been out, was how many sleepless nights Hunk must have experienced. Or the entire team for that matter. “I’m okay, Lance.”

“Come here… please?” Lance tried to push himself into a better sitting position, but his arms wobbled underneath him. Still not quite strong enough yet.

Hunk was by his side in an instant. “You should stay still,” he chastised.

“I want to sit up,” Lance replied, petulantly. Sounding almost like an obstinate child.

Hunk huffed and gave in. “Fine.”

He helped Lance sit up more, and raised the bed he was laying in to accommodate him better. “Thank you,” Lance said and then while Hunk was still within arm’s reach, he grabbed him and pulled him into a loose hug. Hunk stiffened for a brief second, and then all at once completely melted into Lance. He hugged him back, hard. Holding onto him like he was afraid to let go.

Lance could feel hot tears start to hit his shoulder. “It’s okay, Hunk. I’m here.”

“You almost weren’t though. We almost lost you, Lance!” Hunk cried into the side of his neck. “I’ve been so scared you wouldn’t wake up again,” Hunk sniffled as he sobbed.  

“I’m awake now. I’m not going anywhere,” Lance tried to soothe him. “It’s not like I wanted any of this to happen. I…I didn’t want to die, you know?” Oh no. Now Lance was going to start crying. “I-I was so scared, Hunk. And it felt so, so horrible.”

Lance was startled slightly when he felt another hand on his body, touching his leg. He pulled back to see Pidge closer to the bed. And with her, the others had circled around him, too.

Pidge also had tears in her eyes. Lance took one arm away from Hunk and held it out to her. She leaned into the side of the bed to hug him. It was awkward as they were squashed together, but it was also warm and loving.

“Sorry, Pidge,” Lance whispered to her.

“It’s not your fault,” she said back to him. “Just don’t do it again.”

“Yes, Lance,” Allura agreed. “None of this is your fault. We’re sorry that we couldn’t help you before things got so…out of hand.”

Lance leaned back into his pillows, but both of his hands were still being held by Pidge and Hunk. Lance took a collective breath and then asked the question he’d been wondering about since he woke. “H-how did I survive exactly? Because I know it seemed pretty…hopeless there at the end.”

“Are you sure you want to have this conversation now?” Coran asked him. Lance only nodded.

Everyone cast uneasy glances to each other, but none would look directly at Lance at first. Finally, Allura seemed to relent. Her shoulders sagged ever so slightly. “Truthfully, it is a miracle you even survived,” she started hesitantly. “Do you recall much of what happened?”

Lance nodded. “I…yeah, I remember most of it I think.”

“After you, um, lost consciousness you were not breathing any longer either,” Her voice trembled. “I was at a loss as to how I could help you. If I could even help you. Your own quintessence was utterly destroyed. It was corrupted by the canister being broken. And disappearing quickly into the surface of the moon.”

Coran came to stand behind Allura, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, supporting her. “You were dying. The Blue Lion cried out, and suddenly your body was enveloped in energy. Blue’s quintessence. I believe she was trying to share it with you.”

“You said that couldn’t happen. Not long term, anyway.” Uneasiness clawed at Lance.

“Correct, but your lion mirrors your own quintessence. It’s what solidifies your bond in a way. It would have been a better match than when I tried to share mine with you. I just did not think it possible to take it from the lions. At least not when it’s unwillingly given, and Blue was closed off when we attempted it the first time.”

“Blue said she wished it so,” Lance muttered. “Shared her power to save me.”

“You…spoke to your lion?” Coran questioned. And everyone was staring at Lance like he had spoken in riddles “You haven’t left the infirmary, though.”

“I can… speak to her from here. Mentally.” Lance admitted to them. Before he could always feel Blue from a distance, but usually he had to be in her hangar to speak to her. And even then the conversations, while he understood everything she said, had been clipped. The dialogue from her always short and choppy. Now it was like a levee broke, their language flowing freely. He had gained a greater comprehension of her.

“That is incredible,” Coran said, a little awestruck.

Lance could see Coran wanted to ask more questions, but he wanted to hear the rest of the story. “Allura, please finish telling me what happened.”

“Right. The energy that came from the blue lion appeared to revitalize what was left of your original quintessence. I was able to weave it back into your body, along with what I could gather of Blue’s quintessence, but we feared it would not be enough to sustain you.”

A hazy image flitted across his mind. He could see himself laying against Blue’s paw on the moon, his body practically covered with the golden energy that curled around him. It looked like silk cocoon. Allura’s hands moved over him, alight with her own magic, but never quite touching him. He looked like a dead man then, pale and bloody and still—

Lance pushed the image down and away. It was not his memory; he could feel how it came from Blue. And it wasn’t something he wanted to see right now.

“ _Apologies,_ ” Blue murmured. “ _I did not mean to show you.”_

The image, even though she didn’t mean for him to see it, caused fear to rise up in him. “I’m okay now, right?” Lance couldn’t stop the crack in his voice, and Hunk squeezed his hand.

“Yes. Yes, of course.  You started breathing again after it happened. But you were still hurt. We placed you in a cryopod, and your physical wounds healed. But the pod released you and you did not wake.”

That would explain the hospital bed set up he had going on now. Allura continued. “We were afraid of possible damage to your mind. Or that your soul had not settled, and your body was rejecting the quintessence again.”

So that’s why everyone was making such a fuss over him waking up. Not that he blamed them. He was a scary sight to behold in the brief flash of Blue’s memory. They thought he could have been comatose for the rest of his life. He felt a shudder travel his spine at the thought of it.

“Will…will the quintessence hold out? Am I still in danger from it?” He didn’t want to go through that sick, dying feeling again anytime soon.

Coran smiled comfortingly. “All my scans show you to be stable, and your quintessence from what I can see is reading normal. I don’t believe you will have any issues, but we should be cautious, Lance. I don’t want to frighten you, but nothing like this has ever been witnessed before. There might be some unforeseen complications.”

Well, that didn’t sound a hundred percent hopeless, so he accepted the answer for now. He nodded vaguely, and then something clicked. “Uh, so Blue gave me some of her life-force? That must be why she’s so clear in my head. That’s why I can speak to her from here.”

“That’s what I would assume. I suppose that is a response to the shared quintessence,” Coran mused. “That doesn’t really pose a problem, does it? The close connection. Are you feeling all right?”

“Yeah, just feel really worn out I guess.” He wasn’t concerned about feeling Blue’s presence in his mind. He trusted her. It wasn’t like before with the Druid. Speaking of which, he didn’t feel a soul-sucking, dark presence in his mind any longer. Thankfully. “Is…is the Druid gone? What happened to the Commander’s ship?”

The entire team’s faces dropped into frowns, and Hunk wouldn’t quite meet Lance’s eyes. “Guys?” Lance prodded. “Tell me.”

“What about the mark then?” Lance pried his hand out of Hunk’s and went to pull his shirt aside to peer down at his chest.

“Lance,” Shiro stopped him by reaching forward, gently taking his wrist. He seemed uncertain and that just made Lance more on edge. Shiro noticed, and let go of his hand. “The mark…does not have a hold over you anymore according to the scans Coran conducted.” Coran nodded along as Shiro spoke to emphasize the truth of his words. “But it…did not disappear. It healed while you were in the pod, but it… it’s scarred your chest. I’m sorry.”

Lance pulled the top of his medical suit away from his skin and could see the brand clearly. The spider-webbed lines that had stretched out from it were gone. And it was no longer an angry, raised red. Instead, it was now a bright pink scar of seared skin, the symbol of the Galra Empire sitting above his heart. A constant reminder to see every time he showered or changed. Something to remind him of the time he was tortured and almost died. That was… unpleasant.

He let the suit go. He rubbed a hand over his chest, trying to drive out the feeling of defeat. It left a sour taste in his mouth. He met Shiro’s remorseful gaze. Lance could deal with this. Or he would learn. He had to remind himself then that he wasn’t the only one with scars from this war.

Lance closed his eyes. “Is that the worst of the news?” He was met with another bout of wary silence. Lance tried to keep his tone light. “Just spit it out. I’d like to hear everything.”

“Well, it’s not really bad news…” Pidge started. “But it’s not great news.”

“And…”

“Blue froze Commander Varrsik in ice when she saved you,” Keith said instead.

Lance looked over to Keith. That was one thing that Lance wouldn’t have forgotten. He could still see that scene on a loop in his head. “Right. You were piloting her?”

Keith shrugged. “More like guiding. She was the one who shot, I was just there in case that commander got past and onto Blue. It was our own sort of ambush. Anyway, we’re pretty sure no one could have survived that blast, but I went to check out the moon while you were healing, and…his body was gone.”

That made a chill run through Lance. But he was dead. He had to be dead, right? Lance saw it happen.

“Gone?” Lance croaked. He could feel edges of panic trying to pick away at him. His hands tightly clenching the fabric of the sheets.

“ _He will not harm you again_ ,” Blue spoke to him. “ _I will protect you always_.”

“We believe the Galra battleship retrieved his body while we were tending to you,” Allura explained. “But even I do not think a Galra could survive such a direct hit. Blue’s power can be quite devastating.” She was trying to cheer Lance up and ease his apprehension.

Lance stared at his lap instead. He just needed to calm down. He had asked for them to tell him, but he didn’t think it would upset him as much as it did. The fact that the Druid who caused him so much grief was free to roam, and the corpse of his enemy was missing, did not provide much solace.

“Lance?” Shiro called to him after a few moments. “Everything all right?”

He bobbed his head yes, but still remained staring at the bed. “Y-yeah. Just…processing everything.”

“Okay. That’s fine,” Shiro said. “Do you want us to leave you alone for a bit?”

“No!” Lance snapped his head up. “Uh, no.” He said again. “I like having you guys around. I really don’t want to be alone right now.”

“We’re not going anywhere then,” Hunk offered Lance a warm smile.

“Guys,” Lance took a deep breath after he managed to calm down more. He smiled at them. “Not to get all mushy, but I just wanna say thanks. For all that you did. I wouldn’t even be here without you. I owe you all my life.”

“Lance,” Hunk started. “We’d do anything for you.”  

More than anything he knew that was true.

They had been through a lot in a short amount of time. Lance had been out of it for a week. And Blue had saved his life. The pain had been tremendous and terrifying. This whole situation was entirely crazy. But he was just glad to be here now. To be amongst his friends. And to know what lengths they would go to for him. He was part of this team; part of this family. And he would return the favor in a heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man. Why did this story take me so long to write? Haha, thanks to everyone who stuck around to read it. I really appreciate it. 
> 
> This story just did not want to end though. I had the hardest time with this last chapter. I wrote it and re-wrote it about four times, and finally settled on this. For the most part, I'm happy with it, but I feel the ending is, you know, cheesy. But let's just call it sincere. I have been fiddling around with the idea of a sequel, but if it's going to happen it will be a while. I don't have anything solid yet, just some ideas. 
> 
> But let me know what you think and as always, thank you so much for reading!!


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